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So far today;
- unexpected construction workers at my door. WITHOUT the 24 HOUR NOTICE. Again.
- idiotic shite from co-workers who should know better. Because when you ask for a dashboard the specifically excludes the value X, don't later be puzzled why it's broken and not showing the value for X.

Fuck. Me.

This entry was originally posted at http://shaddyr.dreamwidth.org/383495.html. Please comment wherever you want.

You know what I meme?

Snarfed from [personal profile] trobadora who stole it from [personal profile] calliopes_pen:

Repost if it's okay for your followers/circle to leave you a comment telling you what the one thing is they remember you for as a writer. Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization? Is it that one weird kink or trope they never thought they'd be into, but oh my god wow self-discovery time?

This entry was originally posted at http://shaddyr.dreamwidth.org/383358.html. Please comment wherever you want.


Beer o'clock

I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that I am a sucker for anything that smacks of nerd culture, and that includes my beer. Especially my beer.

I picked this one up, because how could I not?

Nice colour - too bad it's too hoppy for my taste. It would be ok with a big, meaty burger or some substantial comfort food, but I'm not crazy about it as a sipper.

It's not totally horrible. And whoa, high alcohol content, be advised. I haven't had dinner yet, and that was a mistake. Now I'm lightheaded. Seriously it's 9.6% and most of what I drink these days is 4% to 6%. It really does make a difference.

This entry was originally posted at http://shaddyr.dreamwidth.org/383179.html. Please comment wherever you want.


Got a text from the eldest offspring this morning. She and her employer have parted ways.

It is very frustrating for her - she already struggles with feeling like she's not doing a good enough job, but invariably, every place she has ever worked, even temp jobs when she was with a temp agency, they always loved her. When the Food Services company she worked for lost the school contract at the school she'd been at, she got a glowing recommendation from her old boss - he actually wanted to take her with him to his new position. When she left the production kitchen she's been working at for over a year, they made sure to tell her that if she ever came back, they would take her on in a heartbeat. She's a good, hard worker.

It sounds like the crux of the issue is there is a long time employee (old white guy) who is working in the kitchen who does not see eye to eye with her. He wants to rule the roost, and she doesn't have time for bullshit, she wants to get work done, not play power games. Ultimately, he's supposed to train her but has not been helpful, doesn't give good instruction; the recipe books she was supposed to follow are wrong and she was supposed to be able to recalculate measurements on the fly; she was supposed to know to double recipes without being told; basically, a number of things went wrong, she was blamed in entirety and told today that she was clearly not meant for this business.

Right. After having successfully completed culinary school and worked in the industry for the last 6 years, and gotten raises and such for being a very good, diligent, hard worker. I think, perhaps, it has more to do with her inability to participate in kitchen politics and kiss ass.

In any case, I asked her if she would like me to write her a story where the Wraith invade the town and just happen to eat a random, nameless coffee shop owner. She said, no - she'd rather just dox him online.

Be that as it may, I think a sad fate shall befall a coffee shop owner in whatever I get around to writing next. Because. It needs to happen.

This entry was originally posted at http://shaddyr.dreamwidth.org/382552.html. Please comment wherever you want.

Thinking about my mom...

I've been working on a historical family scrapbook for the last 6 weeks or so. A few weeks ago while I was going through photos, I found some of my mom and her best girlfriends. My mom didn't have a lot of joy in her life, what with being married to an abusive rageaholic, but those girlfriends of hers were dear to her and brought her much joy. I know they sometimes had disagreements - I remember her complaining about them a time or two - but, friends sometimes do. And like good friends, they worked through them and came out with stronger relationships on the other end. Plus, I know they kept her sane, or as close to it as possible.

Oh a whim, I looked up one of the ladies, Ms. M, on crackbook - lo, and behold, I found her. I added her as a friend and we've chatted a few times since. I sent her copies of the photos I had, and I've genuinely enjoyed talking to her. Going through these photos has been quite bittersweet. I've got good memories, but I have a shit ton of bad ones, especially from before I went to boarding school. The happy times in my childhood were generally those times we escaped the hell that was home to visit my grandmother or aunts and cousins.

Last night, Ms. M pinged me and asked if I knew which cemetary my mom was buried in as she was heading to Winnipeg and wanted to visit her grave and put flowers on it. Then she said this to me:

I always felt sorry for all the hard work that your mom did, and her legs had varicose veins (mom had terrible varicose veins, she even had surgery on them once they were so bad) I remember asking her if they hurt and she would say no. A few days after she passed away I dreamt of her dancing in a meadow of wild flowers wearing a white dress with a red ribbon around her waist she was singing. She stopped and said, "M, look, no more varicose veins!"

DUDE, it took me 15 minutes to stop weeping, and just recounting this is bringing it all back. I remember after my mom died, this one day where I had the most intense feeling of I want my mommy! so strongly it was overwhelming, and a couple more times over the years when something struck me as the kind of thing she would have found funny or really enjoyed and thinking I needed to call her, then stopping short with that awful, hollow feeling of realizing afresh that I can't ever share anything with her again. Last night was all that rolled up in one big craptastic package.

It fucking sucks.

So, just FYI, going through old family photos can be wonderful, but it can also bring up old pain and buried feelings. God, it's like therapy or something.

I still have more to do, but I think next time, I'm going in with a bottle of wine.

This entry was originally posted at http://shaddyr.dreamwidth.org/382227.html. Please comment wherever you want.


Easter goodies, renos and friends

This weekend was productive!

Normally, the social committee does an Easter egg hunt and craft for the kids - while I have egg painting and paper crafts for the kids, someone else takes our huge bag full of plastic eggs and hides them all over the property. I am not sure our exact size, but we've got 72 units here in 13 buildings - we must be a couple or three acres at least.

However, due to the fact that we have been in reno hell for two years now (I know, it's unbelievable, but there it is) and we have piles of siding laying around, partially excavated balcony supports etc, etc, it just doesn't seem like a safe thing to do right now. Case in point:

Oh, Renos!

So instead, we stuffed good bags:

Easter goodie bags, stuffed with treats!

Everyone seemed quite pleased. Because, you know. Chocolate and gummy candies. It's hard to go wrong.

One moment of bittersweet whilst handing out the loot bags - our dear Bevie, one of the hardest working and loveliest ladies I've met through the social committee, died unexpectedly about a week after Halloween last year. A new family has moved into her unit, but her plants remain. When we walked by, I ran a hand through the rosemary bush she planted - I love that smell - and took a snap of this lovely flower, blooming so brightly, as if Bevie was poking through from the other side to say, "Hello ladies! Enjoy the sunshine!"


This entry was originally posted at http://shaddyr.dreamwidth.org/382095.html. Please comment wherever you want.


I did not, in fact, fall off the planet...

Good LORD! I haven't posted since last summer. No wonder people thought I was dead.

To tell all would definitely invoke feeling of TL;DR in anyone reading. Also, it would be BOOOOORING, and I generally like you people, and that would be mean.

So, in short, my life has been full of the following:

Work shite:
- Unfortunately, too many people I work with remain incapable of following simple instructions. They do not seem to grasp the concept of REQUIREMENTS and that they are, you know, REQUIRED to complete plans and projects. Not sure why that's such a difficult concept, but it really seems to be. It's a sad testament to how pathetic things are when you realize I derive intense joy from a properly completed prod specs doc. I need to get a life.

Reno stuff:
- Yes, it's STILL going on! I am in RENO HELL AND IT WILL NEVER END.

- I took COMP 1630 - Relational Database Design and SQL. Dear God. I thought I was going to learn how to write some queries. *hysterical laughter* It was a little more in-depth than that. Somehow, I PASSED! Probably it was because the prof took pity on me. Dear god, why did I do that to myself? In related news, I have since created a SQL database for our movies.

Other events of note;
- The eldest child moved out and now resides on the island. I miss the progeny daily, but the offspring reports having landed a reasonably good job and appears to be mostly happy. Also, said offspring chose to return and visit a couple weeks ago. There were hugs and tears. And laundry, of course. That's a thing that kids are supposed to do when they come home, right? Crash, do their laundry and use mom's house as a springboard to visit their friends while they are in town. So, this is the natural way of things. It was good.

I miss having the energy/time/motivation to read and post on LJ at least a couple times a week. Things were really picking up after that friending meme and I've always preferred LJ to other things - like FB - but lately, I don't even want to look at a computer after work. Today is the first time in ages that I actually felt like I had a wherewithal catch up on the flist and post something.

So, what's up with you?


Re: Sexism and choosing battles wisely

Even though there is a lot of sexist crap yet to be overcome in this world (see previous post) I thought that I'd like to share a little victory in that arena.

My son, who is 19, is growing up surrounded by feminism in various degrees. I'm very low key and am more likey to use sexist moments in life as educational opportunities for my kids, whereas my eldest is vocal and don't take no shit, and will verbally flay you if you are an asshat.

It is a pleasure for me to see how my son is frustrated by the casual sexism he encounters from his male friends. He thinks it is stupid to believe girls can't be as good or better than boys as gamers, programmers, doctors, firefighters or astronauts. He hears this stuff, but he honestly doesn't *grok* it.

I'd also like to mention that he does his own laundry, cooks meals for the household several times a week and I have never heard the phrase, "but that's a girl thing" from him about anything, including clothing.

I'm especially proud of my son, because his dad is one of Those Guys. The ones who think It's Not Fair - "It's always about women, well how about all the men who (get abused, get unfairly accused, get the shaft, fill in the blank) and what sbout men's rights, and today's world is so hard for white men..."

My son is awesome. Just sayin'.

Sexism in the workplace

I just had a male colleague snap at me. I've found him to be mildly patronizing in the past, and I have come to realize that I often allow men like him to feel smarter by deferring to them and saying things like "you understand X far better than I do, so I'll trust you on that" so I don't have to fight about stupid things and I can get what I need (info, resources, help, whatever)

Well, today he was asking me to verify something on a group email cc'd to at least 8 people. But it wasn't clear which project they were talking about because they always talk about work streams and never use project ID numbers. So i asked for clarification privately and then he was confused, and wasn't sure I was talking about the same thing. I told him it would help if he logged into the portal (WHICH WAS WHERE THE INFO HE NEEDED WAS!) and he snapped, "No shit!"

So... grand scheme of things, not really huge compared to other things. But very upsetting anyway. I told him I didn't appreciate being spoken to like that and he apologized, but I think the problem is that he - and numerous other men like him - just don't respect women in the workplace. I've always adjusted my stance, modified my approach, simply allowed for it so that I could keep going because I have to choose my battles wisely, and sexism in the workplace is not one I forsee winning in my lifetime.

But, goddammit. Between this todays and my manager totally and completely taking over my call yesterday (after telling me repeatedly I need to speak up more, and show more leadership) I'm pretty fed up.


Geek by Shaddyr

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