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Re: Sexism and choosing battles wisely

Even though there is a lot of sexist crap yet to be overcome in this world (see previous post) I thought that I'd like to share a little victory in that arena.

My son, who is 19, is growing up surrounded by feminism in various degrees. I'm very low key and am more likey to use sexist moments in life as educational opportunities for my kids, whereas my eldest is vocal and don't take no shit, and will verbally flay you if you are an asshat.

It is a pleasure for me to see how my son is frustrated by the casual sexism he encounters from his male friends. He thinks it is stupid to believe girls can't be as good or better than boys as gamers, programmers, doctors, firefighters or astronauts. He hears this stuff, but he honestly doesn't *grok* it.

I'd also like to mention that he does his own laundry, cooks meals for the household several times a week and I have never heard the phrase, "but that's a girl thing" from him about anything, including clothing.

I'm especially proud of my son, because his dad is one of Those Guys. The ones who think It's Not Fair - "It's always about women, well how about all the men who (get abused, get unfairly accused, get the shaft, fill in the blank) and what sbout men's rights, and today's world is so hard for white men..."

My son is awesome. Just sayin'.

Sexism in the workplace

I just had a male colleague snap at me. I've found him to be mildly patronizing in the past, and I have come to realize that I often allow men like him to feel smarter by deferring to them and saying things like "you understand X far better than I do, so I'll trust you on that" so I don't have to fight about stupid things and I can get what I need (info, resources, help, whatever)

Well, today he was asking me to verify something on a group email cc'd to at least 8 people. But it wasn't clear which project they were talking about because they always talk about work streams and never use project ID numbers. So i asked for clarification privately and then he was confused, and wasn't sure I was talking about the same thing. I told him it would help if he logged into the portal (WHICH WAS WHERE THE INFO HE NEEDED WAS!) and he snapped, "No shit!"

So... grand scheme of things, not really huge compared to other things. But very upsetting anyway. I told him I didn't appreciate being spoken to like that and he apologized, but I think the problem is that he - and numerous other men like him - just don't respect women in the workplace. I've always adjusted my stance, modified my approach, simply allowed for it so that I could keep going because I have to choose my battles wisely, and sexism in the workplace is not one I forsee winning in my lifetime.

But, goddammit. Between this todays and my manager totally and completely taking over my call yesterday (after telling me repeatedly I need to speak up more, and show more leadership) I'm pretty fed up.

Arts & Crafts Exchange Update!

So a few months back, milly_gal hosted a craft exchange on her LJ. I signed up for it, and last week I got a package with my goodies from sammycolt24. This is what she made me - so creative!

Notebooks!Collapse )


Time flies like a...

So, I've had a few things on the go since the last time a managed to get my act in gear and actually post.

Last year, I sort of accidentally ended up as the committee chair for our co-op Social Committee. This was because a) the previous chair had a meltdown before our BBQ last summer and b) the only other member interested in being chair has sub-optimal people skills, so I took it on. Since I'm kind of a control freak (to the extent I'd rather just do all the research, shopping, prep and set-up myself rather than try to explain to people what I want them to do) that works for me. I know I need to learn to delegate, I'm just not very good at it.

We've done a couple tastings the last few years - wine tastings, beer tastings. I'm a big fan of education wrapped up in fun things, so I always print out info sheets and make up quizzes and give prizes for the most right answers. It gets pretty raucous when you get people to sample 6 or 8 different types of beer or wine and then you ask them to shout out their answers to the questions, but it's a really good time.

This year, I wanted to do something that was open to all, including kids and people who don't drink, so we did a Chocolate tasting.

Mmmmm, chocolate...Collapse )

Girl's Beading weekend!Collapse )

July Long Weekend!Collapse )

Car Woes:Collapse )

Work stuff:Collapse )

Renos!Collapse )


The state of me

I am so discombobulated. I think "I should post!" and then when I go to do so... the brain, she blanks out and I stare at the screen and wibble.

So what's been happening?

So there was the cruise thing - that was fun, but way too short.
CRUISECollapse )

Back at home, we're still in reno mode with holes in the walls and piles of lumber outside my door.
RENOSCollapse )

The business trip to Nashville... well. It was annoyingly unproductive.
BIZZNESSCollapse )

Oh, also! I sold a thing on Etsy just before I was leaving! Totally unexpected, to someone I don't even know, so that was cool! I have had friends buy stuff and say nice things, but complete stranger - cool!

Mental Health, PTSD and ACE

I usually use my LJ for fandom fun and games, sometimes for whinging about work, and occasionally for real life reflections on various things. Today is option three. Mental Health Stuff...Collapse )

Hello Friday, my old friend...

TGIF ad infinitum.

WORK: the project is mostly ironed out. I have taken a deep breath and tried to exhale all my frustration and annoyance. I have no control over other people and their willingness (or unwillingness) to try and understand how things work. The chips have fallen and the aftermath is what it is.

Yesterday, on a project call, I calmly told the liaison for the project that her new changes could not be incorporated, if she wanted it released on time, so sorry. Also, even if we release on time, the changes will require a new intake that we will submit to the vendor for pricing, as the old project is now completed and closed, thanks very much.

HOUSE: We got notice that they are doing the upstairs carpets next week. Of course - since I am going AWAY OUT OF TOWN this weekend, which meant last night and tonight is scrambling trying to get walls patched up so the kids can paint their rooms this weekend and they have time to dry before the new carpets go in. YARGH. Not the worst scenario, and I'm sure glad they didn't wait till this evening at 4pm to post the notice, but I'd thought they would be at least another week. It's just a little tighter than I like.

This is what the kid's rooms look like now. It's amazing how many pin hole, nicks and scratches you get on the walls over the course of almost two decades.

mud on the walls...Collapse )

WEEKEND: Holy cow. Mini cruise tomorrow. I'm feeling seriously extravagant. I've always felt like cruises are something that only rich people can do, and that I would never, ever be able to afford something like that. It's still mind bogglingly expensive, but when I broke it down and compared it to a traditional vacation, I guess it's not that crazy expensive compared to being in a hotel and paying airfare and meals.

So, flisties - what are you doing this weekend?


Ranty McRanty Pants

Feel free to skip if you are not in the mood.

WTF...Collapse )

May. 3rd, 2016

I have mailed out over 20 postcards and cards in the last few days. I've heard back from a couple folks that they got them, but I had one returned - unfortunately, the Canada Post automated scanning picked up the postal code on my return address tag instead of the addressee. I dropped it back in the mail - I've never had *that* happen before!

In completely unrelated news, I'm doing something new this weekend. I will be going on a cruise with a bunch of my girlfriends.

Ok, it's a mini turn around cruise - just to re-position the ship. It's one night, so less that 24 hours on board - Vancouver to Seattle and then we're catching the bus home. But it's a taste of what it would be like. I already think I'd like to go on a longer one.

One of the gals I'm going with has never been to Seattle even through she's lived in Vancouver her whole life, so she wants to go to the Space Needle before we go home. I've always wanted to go to the EMP, but our bus leaves at 1 and it doesn't really feel like enough time to fully appreciate it.

I am hoping that it will be a nice break after the hectic craziness of life with renos.

NEW FIC: Just Another Thursday (SGA, PG13)

Finally done and posted - with many thanks to melegan and outsideth3box for feedback and suggestions. Those ladies *rock*!

Fic Title: Just Another Thursday
Author: shaddyr
Pairing(s):Could read as Gen or McShep
Rating: PG13
Warnings: None
Summary: "...well, I have an idea that might possibly save the town,” he said. “Or it could just get us killed and not make any difference, I’m not sure. But at least… well at least, we’d be trying to do something that might help.” He huffed in annoyance. “And just so you know, I fully blame you for this cultivating this, this *need* to try to do something to make a difference instead of just running off to go hide in the safety of a cave like a normal, sane person would-”

“Bitch at me about how I’ve destroyed your self-preservation instincts while we’re moving,” he said as he gave Rodney a nudge to start him back down the trail.

Link to fic: Just Another Thursday on AO3

Link to art: Will supply URL once I have it. For now, the preview:
 photo sga300x300.jpg


Geek by Shaddyr

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July 2016




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