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I found myself wondering this week how people usually talk with each other.

It feels like my life is composed of work, laundry, kids, cooking and sleep. I sneak in as much fic reading time around the edges I can manage, and I try to comment when I find the time to read people's LJs, but I rarely *talk* with people anymore.

I have realized over the last few years I know very few people in my locale. Most of the folks I call friends live several hundred miles from me. A few years ago (more like 10 years ago) I would have said that I had a 6 or 8 local friends that I could go out to coffee with, go to karaoke with, or go to a movie with - not anymore. I thoughts about it long and hard last month when I was considering going out to a function and realized that there is literally no one I can think off of the top of my head locally who I could just call up casually to hang out with.

Dude, the last few times I went out to a movie with a friend was when pukajen was in town and we saw Ocean's 12 (we were supposed to see 13 last time she was in town but I felt like crap and we never did) and before that, I think it was when elizard100 came out, and I can't remember what we saw. But we talked about safe injection sites and kept the Starbucks staff open past closing time before finally letting them shut down.

The upshot of this is that I really don't get out much locally, and most of the people that I have really *connected* with over the last decade have been online.

Despite this fact, it seems there are never more than three or four people logged in to my yahoo IM when I come online, and I realized that (whine) I'm feeling lonely and it seems like no one is ever there to talk to.

I have chatted zola and agilebrit up from time to time. ladyniko always gives me the dirt on what David Hewlett is up to. Also, breklor takes time now and then to send me the most bizarre youtube links, so I suppose I should not complain too much. Still, late at night when I have just finished my latest installment of a fic, I am desperate to find someone with fresh eyes to have a look and tell me if it sucks right now... or when I have *finally* seen the newest SGA eppie and I really want to talk with someone about how awesome (or awful) it was... I know that gables is computerless at the moment, but seriously. Where the HELL are the REST OF YOU PEOPLE??

And thus, I have created the IM poll. I need to know how to stalk find you more effectively.

Poll #1086449 Instant Message Poll

How often do you use Instant Message programs to talk to friends/co-wrtiers/betas online?

Never! I don't even have an IM client on my computer.
Rarely - how do you make that mIRC thing work again?
Sometimes, if I catch someone online.
Often - 3 or 4 times a week at least.
Are you kidding? All the time - I live online!

Do you ever call or email people that you also have in your IM contact list?

I'd rather talk on the phone instead of using IM or email.
I email since I don't have anyone's phone number and no one is ever on IM when I want to talk to them.
I'd much rather IM people since everyone is online when I am anyway.
I like to chat in IM while we are talking on the phone and send an email with the details in case the chat crashes.
I don't want to talk to you crazy people, I'm just here for the fic.

What IM client(s) do you use?

Yahoo IM
Other client
EMCC (Evil Mind Control Client)

If none of the above, what client do you use?

Why do you usually use IM?

To chat with friends while doing other things online
As a way to touch base with people in today's busy world
A way to meet up and discuss writing (co-writing, beta-ing)
To use the chat room function and chat with groups of friends about stuff (Post Ep discussions)
Online meetings (concom meetings, work meetings)
Other reasons that are far beyond your puny, human brain!



( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 11th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
Most of my 'contacts' always seem to be washing their hair while hearing their mothers calling them when I log on, so...

Hey; why not karoake next Friday, then *question mark* (said key is busted) Wish I could get terig out; she's got great pipes.

Could I add you to my IM list *question mar - oh, f*ck; you know what I mean...
Nov. 11th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC)
Hey Karaoke would be cool. I haven't gone out in so long!
Nov. 11th, 2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
Give you a dingle about it later today, then? - and don"t ask me how I got that to work again -
Nov. 11th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
Tried jabber once or twice; it was highly distracting, and I could never be bothered keeping my presence up-to-date as I bounced in and out of the room.

I have been known to have real-time conversations via email or LJ comments. Much more practical, since if the other person isn't there they can pick up the thread of the conversation later if they feel like it.
Nov. 11th, 2007 07:02 am (UTC)
I D/L'ed the LJ talk client to see what the fuss was about, but it seems to be a simpled up version of Skype - which I already use. And forgot to include in my poll.

I know what you mean about the real time LJ conversations! It's so fun when that happens, and you get a zap war going, and you have to keep clicking refresh to see who said what and try to respond before someone else does - it can be highly amusing!
Nov. 11th, 2007 01:37 pm (UTC)
I think it's actually derived from Jabber, like Google's voice talk -- it's an audio IM rather than a phone replacement, similar to Yahoo's and Google's voice chat.
Nov. 11th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
As your attorney, I recommend that you come over to my house, 5 minutes away, for girly drinks and harmony sluttery. SRSLY.
Nov. 11th, 2007 07:05 am (UTC)
I think I would totally need to listen to the advice of my attorney on this. Because:
A) My attorney is obviously smart
B) I am a harmony slut
C) girly drinks are awesome
D) There is no D

Also, dude, are you really only 5 minutes away? Huh. I'd love to come play at your house. I always figured you were off doing pirate band rehearsals and hanging out with the cool kids.
Nov. 11th, 2007 04:59 pm (UTC)
Har, I always figured you were too busy. We R Dumb. What's your schedule like right now?

I'm totally 5 minutes away, Kingsway & Fraser.
Nov. 11th, 2007 08:54 am (UTC)
I guess the answer is- I chat mostly for work, not private. But there's a healthy amount of private, too.

I work for a company with offices in Hamburg, London, Madrid, and Milan. We have a set of internal Jabber servers, and we've standardized on Miranda as a chat client. Chat is actually a good thing, since 99% of the people I work with have English as a second language, and the immediate-send; can wait a few seconds to respond nature of chat works much better generally than the phone.

Miranda is nice in that it is a multiple-protocol application like Trilian; but MUCH smaller... and free. :) (Yes, Trillian has a free option, but not with Jabber....)

I maintain 2 sets of nics on the protocols I use most (AIM and Yahoo); a limited-access worknick that only very close friends and family have access too (because I'm *working*, dammit!) and a wide-open homenick (gallamor in both) for when I can talk to anyone. :)

That, and a 9 hour time difference from where you sit probably contribute to us never seeing each other online...
Nov. 11th, 2007 09:00 am (UTC)
I grok.

We used to use MSN at work, but have mostly switched over to Skype. There is a help chat the all of the day teams are in, where we can supposedly go and ask for help at anytime - but I never pay attention to what's going on in there, and if I need help, I'm much more likely to contact the department by phone.

But if I know one of my colleagues has the answer, I'll IM them cuz that is SO much faster.

And you are off the hook, being that you are 9 hours different from me...
Nov. 11th, 2007 09:16 am (UTC)
... and why aren't you in bed, young lady?!? It's after 1am!
Nov. 11th, 2007 09:21 am (UTC)
::sticks out tongue::

Cuz I gotta finish this fic for the lyric challenge! It's due on the 12th, and I want it to be *good*.

And my beta reader is in England, so she's up *now*. Consequently, *I* am up now. *grin*
Nov. 11th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
Wheee! I got an "honorable mention!"

DH is fun & amusing to keep track of, since he's such an Uber Geek & likes to ramble on on-line. His new nick for Baz is "Baby Kryptonite."

I'm always on-line because I have no life. No steady income = no social life. So, I live "vicariously" over the net.

Also, the IM programs are great for beta readers. They can read through what you send them and then, give you instant corrections, if you are both on-line at the same time. Except, that one of my beta readers is not an IM user and thus, it's not instant beta reading.
Nov. 11th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
Much to everyone I know's pissed off dismay, I'm never on my chat clients anymore. Mostly I'm too lazy to start Trillian. I always say I'll come online, and that lasts for...a week. Maybe. I just don't have time anymore.

That's not really an excuse, though, since I spend hours reading fic instead of doing my homework. Eh.

Comments in LJ are the easiest way to chat with me. That or e-mail....
Nov. 12th, 2007 11:48 am (UTC)
Re: Instant Messaging, Chats and other methods of modern communication
i used to be on IM and IRC all the time, but it ended up eating my day, and i had to stop. i have too many acquaintances who all love to chat. now i only use jabber to stay in contact with my LDR partner -- and we're mostly using it asynchronously, except for when we end up having an in-depth conversation. and i use IRC only to download manga. i make an exception when somebody asks in email or on their blog because they need some support, but i'll sign off right afterwards.

asynchronous communication media are bad for me because they want my attention RIGHT NOW, and i just don't have the energy to give it that. i use email to stay in contact with closer friends -- but your poll didn't have a good option for that. it's not because there's never anyone on when i would want to talk. though having friends for whom it's day when it's night for me doesn't help. but really, i find i end up saying more important and thoughtful things in email, while in IM it's mosty chit-chat, and i prefer email.

when i was on the LJ abuse team, IRC was really useful, and when i have a client where online meetings are held, i'm be happy to use some meeting software (certainly beats having to fly to toronto or los angeles). but otherwise, no, do not want anymore.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )


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