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Fic: Right Where You Belong (SGA)

Title: Right Where You Belong
Rating: NC 17
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Genre: Slash
Warnings: Set sometime mid-season 2ish or later
Disclaimer: Not mine or the boys would be otherwise occupied
Word Count: 7483
Summary: Sometimes attractive Lt. Colonels who are trained to be very observant can be exceedingly slow on the uptake. Add to that a kitten underfoot, and there can be all kinds of trouble.

** This is part of the Trouble With Kittens Series that the_cephalopod came up with. We're writing instalments, sort of a "5 ways something happens", only in this case, it's various and sundry ways that a troublesome kitten could lead Rodney and John to each other.
You may wish to read Not your Everyday Care Package, Trouble and The Trouble With Kittens, Take One first.

Author Note: I find it much easier to write from Rodney's POV, but this one just seemed to be coming from John's perspective. I hope that I have written him believably in character. Concrit is adored. HAS NOT BEEN BETA'D. This is my first slash ever. I hope it passes muster.

Many thanks to hsifyppah who had a look at the preliminary draft and helped me make some much better word choices for John. Also, for her sage advice, which mostly I laughed at and didn't follow, but it made me happy, so all was well with the world.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard strode through the halls of Atlantis with a bounce in his step and a smile on his face. He'd started his day with a brisk run with Ronon, followed by a nice hot shower before a breakfast of pancakes and bacon in the mess. He'd managed to snag a cup of freshly poured coffee right out from under McKay's nose, leaving him spluttering with indignation. Sheppard just couldn't seem to help himself when it can to yanking Rodney's chain, even though he had noticed the other man had been more than a bit twitchy lately. Despite that, lobbing insults back and forth with Rodney was pretty amusing at the best of times, but especially so first thing in the morning sans caffeine since his responses were measurably slower.

After several rounds of friendly snarking (and the final insult of stealing McKay's last piece of bacon right off his plate), Sheppard had attended to the newcomer's orientation for the marines. This consisted of lecturing the newbies on the dangers of life in the Pegasus galaxy, with some specifics on a few of the more common things that could kill you here (like, say the Wraith), then sitting back to watch Ronon knock a little cockiness out of them. Yes, life was good.

Sheppard decided that since he'd completed his allotted tasks for the morning and managed to foist the post-arrival day paperwork off on Lorne (again) it was time for lunch. He headed for the lab. John knew it was more than likely Rodney was in overdrive mode with all the new scientists, and would have to be forcibly removed; left to his own devices, McKay would likely hover and watch them like a hawk, eating nothing but power bars till midnight. As he exited the transporter just down the hall from his destination, John reflected that evicting McKay from the lab for regular care and feeding was becoming a regular habit for him.

He rounded the corner, then stopped abruptly, a frown appearing on his face. For the first time in - well, ever as far as Sheppard could remember - the door to the lab was closed. After pondering on the unique situation for a moment, John shrugged and thought 'open' at the door.

Nothing happened.

"Weird," he muttered, glancing around in hopes of finding a clue as to why the door was not only shut, but actually locked. There were no scientists scurrying to and fro screaming, nothing broken or burning, no alerts klaxons, and no calls about any emergency lockdowns coming though his radio on a priority channel. John was still clueless, and that was not a state he liked to be in.

He tapped his radio. "McKay, is there an emergency in the lab?"

"If by emergency you mean that I am under-caffeinated and under-fed, then yes. Which is all your fault, by the way," a waspish sounding voice snapped in his ear.

Sheppard rolled his eyes and thought 'open - override' at the door. This time it obeyed, silently retracting in response to his wishes in the way he'd come to expect.

He'd barely set foot in the room when three things happened simultaneously;

First, McKay yelped, "NO! Don't open the DOOR!"

Second, a tiny furry blur of white, orange and gray darted between his feet and tore down the hall at something approaching light speed.

Third, he discovered that Simpson was a hell of a lot heavier than she looked as she inadvertently tackled him in her efforts to prevent number two from happening.

"Dammit Sheppard! Did it not occur to you for one moment that perhaps you should bother to ask *why* the door was locked before you sweet talked the city into overriding my command? "

John stared up at the ceiling and wondered why the hell things like this always seemed to happen to him. Also, the floor was damn hard and now his ass hurt. Not that he was going to mention it to anyone. If the new marines found out he'd been tackled to the floor by one of scientists... even worse, if Ronon found out, his life would be unbearable for weeks.

He gently, but firmly, removed Simpson from her sprawled position atop him while she babbled apologies, and got to his feet. He took a breath and then turned to face McKay's ire.

"Sorry Rodney," he offered with a sheepish look, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "I'm sure she'll come back soon. It's not like she can really get into any trouble-"

"Oh, you have no idea what kind of trouble she can get into," McKay ranted. "Though if you had bothered to ask *why* the door was locked, like a normal person, instead of just flinging it open for her to take off like a bat out of hell, I could have told you. But no, you just wink and smile and the city falls all over itself to please you, and now Curie is out there with a collar that will give her access to every door on Atlantis and I have no idea where she is because I haven't had a chance to implant her with a subcutaneous transponder yet and she's just too small to show up reliably on the city's internal life sign sensors so she could literally be anywhere, and can you please tell me how someone who has Mensa scores can be such a moron!"

Sheppard mind latched on to the part of rant regarding the collar. "Wait. She can't get into the secure areas though, right?"

McKay shot him the look usually reserved for new scientists fresh of the Daedalus. "What part of 'every door on Atlantis' is hard for you to understand?"

"You gave your cat unilateral access to the entire city? To the restricted areas?" Sheppard's voice began to rise in pitch and volume as he envisioned a series of different scenarios, each ending more disastrously than the previous one. "Do you have *any* idea what kind of security breach that is? What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I would keep her locked in the lab until I had programmed her collar to only allow access to specified doors, like the lab and my quarters and a few other places. But then some idiot came along and opened my carefully locked door, thus creating the situation we now find ourselves in." McKay's expression grew cold. "And I swear, if she gets hurt because of this, all of your marines and Ronon put together will not be able to find all the little pieces that will be left of you!"

John blinked. Whoa, Rodney could be kind of scary. Who knew? It was disturbing and interesting and made him feel a little funny all at the same time. He would consider that more - later. First, there was a kitten to locate before McKay imploded.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Rodney," he said in a placating tone as he wondered about the likelyhood of the kitten activating anything potentially hazardous to the city. "C'mon, let's grab a couple of the hand held scanners and go kitten hunting. I bet we'll find her in no time."

McKay walked across the lab and opened a cabinet to retrieve two of the Ancient scanners. He came back and handed one to John.

"I bet you a week's pay she leads us in circles and we're out there looking for hours."

"You still owe me a week's pay from the time-"

"Shut up and help me find my cat."


They started with the obvious, checking out all the nearby labs and corridors for any sign of the kitten.

As they looked, John discovered there were a lot more nooks and crannies a kitten could hide in around the city than he'd realized. While McKay scanned yet another room, John hunkered down to peer behind a loose panel cover on the wall of the adjacent corridor. The opening looked like it was just wide enough for a kitten to wiggle through.

He was on his knees, face mashed up again the panel, looking for any sign the kitten might be back there when he heard Rodney clear his throat from behind him. He glanced to find McKay with his arms crossed, tapping his foot.

"What are you doing?" The appendage 'you moron' hung there, unspoken.

"I'm just checking to see if, maybe, she was back there."

"I know you can't possibly be stupid, Colonel, because I've seen you do advanced math." McKay shook his head. "She's not back *there*," he said, pointing at the wall, "or it would show on *here*." Rodney held up his scanner with a flourish. "Using the scanner is far more reliable then sniffing behind every wall. Also, it's a lot easier on the knees."

"It looked like the kind of a hidey-hole a kitten would like," John shot back. He felt the tips of his ears burning at the admonition. "Geeze McKay, I was just being thorough. Reliable doesn't mean infallible, and I don't mind getting down on my knees once in a while if it means doing the job right."

He regretted the comment as soon as it left his mouth, and waited for the inevitable wise ass comeback from McKay. However, instead of the smack down he was expecting, he watched Rodney's eyes go wide as saucers before abruptly turning away, babbling something about the scanners, percentages and odds. Sheppard cocked an eyebrow, puzzled by the reaction. McKay's face seemed to be flushed; even his ears were red.

John wondered about it for a moment then shrugged. As he got to his feet, he mentally chalked it up to 'general McKay weirdness', then pulled out his scanner and set off down the hall.


McKay crossed his arms, then lifted one hand to rub his chin. "If I was a cat, where would I be?" he murmured pensively.

John took a breath, about to make a snappy comment when his stomach complained. Loudly. Rodney stopped short and turned to give him a look. Sheppard smiled wryly and rubbed his stomach with one hand.

"I was actually on my way to lunch before this."

McKay cocked an eyebrow. "The lab is in a completely different section from where you were having Ronon torture the new marines this morning."

"Yeah, I know," he responded with a shrug. "I was coming by to get you first."

McKay just stared at him for a moment , then dropped his gaze. "You should have said you were hungry. We could have stopped to get you a turkey sandwich first."John watched as he reached into his jacket to retrieve a chocolate chip power bar. He tossed it over with a huff. "Eat this. With my luck, you'll pass out from hunger and then I'll have to haul your scrawny, yet amazingly heavy butt over to the nearest transporter.

"Gee, thanks for your concern for my wellbeing, McKay," he drawled out sarcastically as he opened the powerbar. As he chewed, he noted that Rodney had a dopey smile on his face. He also seemed to be a little flushed.

"Hey buddy, maybe you should have one too."

"I'm fine."

John looked at him sceptically. "Yeah. About that. You're looking a little... ill."

"Shut up and run your scanner, Colonel."



"Okay, the internal sensor showed an anomalous reading down the fifth level east corridor a few minutes ago," McKay reported, and made to head back down the corridor. "The readings seem to be consistent with Curie's bio signature, so I think we should check it out."

"Sounds like a plan. Uh, McKay?" Sheppard reached out, laid a hand on his shoulder, halting him. "Let's head up the stairs."

As John pointed out the access door just a few feet away, he noticed that Rodney's breathing did a weird hitch thing; the same weird hitch thing he'd been doing it every time John touched him lately. Rodney took a step back as he glanced over to the stairs access and John's hand fell away. Sheppard had to force himself not to move in closer and touch McKay again just to see what would happen. Thankfully, Rodney's shrill protest served to refocus his attention.

"What? Five flights? Are you crazy? No! The transporter-"

"-is back the way we came and the stairs are right here." Sheppard was carefully not laughing as McKay spluttered. "It'll be faster if we just hike up."


"McKay! We want to find Curie as quickly as possible, right?" "

"This is all your fault. I hate you."

He tossed McKay his classic lazy grin and led the way, setting a relatively easy pace up the stairs.

As they climbed, John thought about the way Rodney had reacted to his casual touch, and of how twitchy he'd been in general recently. It was odd, even for Rodney, and unsettling and made John feel weird. Maybe later, after they had Miss Curie back safe and sound, he'd drag McKay over for a beer and see if he was willing to come clean about whatever the hell was going on.

He allowed himself a chuckle at Rodney's inventive insults to his intelligence and ancestry as McKay huffed up the steps behind him and thought that if beer didn't work, he could always sic Ronon on him.


After three more attempts to follow up on vague readings that turned up nothing, they'd come to another dead end. While McKay worked on coaxing some more reliable data from the city's internal sensors, John took a moment to stretch. He leaned over, placing his hands on his thighs and arched his back in an effort to relieve some minor muscle tension. As he began to straighten up, he glanced over at McKay to ask if he'd found them a lead. Sheppard froze, still half hunched over, and the words died unspoken on his lips. Rodney was staring at him.

"M-McKay?" He choked out the name, his voice strained and unsteady, and watched Rodney startle.

He looked away immediately, but the focus and the intensity of McKay's stare impacted Sheppard like a physical blow. Slowly, John straightened up, standing in a daze while McKay carefully did not look at him, instead studying his scanner intently as though everything were perfectly normal.

"I, uhm, I'm not finding anything here, so maybe we should just move to the next section now, okay?"

Rodney headed off without waiting for an answer, clearly expecting him to follow, acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. After a moment, Sheppard did fall in behind, but his mind was trying to make sense of it all.

While they had been out kitten hunting today, Rodney had somehow ended up behind him most of the time. Out in the field, this was pretty normal, but here in the city, he was usually trying to rein McKay in so that he wouldn't go charging off into unexplored rooms or passageways without letting him scout ahead. Today, every time turned around, Rodney was looking away. In and of itself, that wouldn't have even been all that strange, but more often than not, McKay was - well, there was no other word for it - blushing - when he turned to speak to him.

In conjunction with that, there was the whole list of Really Odd Things that he'd noticed about McKay lately. Now there was this look. John was the first to admit that when it came to anything approaching romance and dating, if someone was interested in *him*, he was generally the last one to see it coming. However, it seemed to him that the look he'd just seen on Rodney's face was of the "I want you naked" variety. He knew what it felt like to be giving someone that look, and he was pretty damn sure that he'd just seen that feeling all over McKay's extremely expressive face.

If McKay *was* interested in him, a whole lot of what had been going on lately suddenly made a lot more sense. McKay's weird reaction to him in the lab last week when the kitten had shredded his finger, followed by reading the report upside down. The way McKay twitched when he so much as brushed by him lately. The weird breathing thing.

John stopped abruptly as recent comments suddenly took on a whole new level of meaning, and he gasped in surprise.

McKay stopped, looking back at him with concern. "What's wrong?"

Sheppard's eyes went wide and he shook his finger at McKay. "So *that's*why you didn't make a smart assed comment about me being on my knees!"

McKay went as white as a sheet. Oh yeah, that was it all right. Sheppard grinned, relieved that he'd finally figured out why McKay had been acting so batshit crazy. The grin faded as it occurred to him that he was watching his very good buddy sway on his feet like he was about to pass out from shock, and that furthermore, that very same buddy was interested in him.

Interested, as in physically. Sexually. Well. That was unexpected.



The awkward silence was cut short when Rodney's gaze went unfocused and he tapped his radio. "McKay here. Do you need me back at the lab? I can head back right..." He trailed off, listening.

John stood by fidgeting while McKay spoke. He considered making a run for it, but then thought back to how weird McKay had been acting recently - and if he went to ground now, it would just be ten times worse than it had been. And he would lose his best friend in the process. And talk about revelations; John hadn't even realized that he considered McKay his best friend.

Yeah, that settled it. It was going to suck, but it looked like he was actually going to have to talk to McKay. About whatever this was. And there would probably be feelings involved. The thought made him slightly ill.

"What?" Rodney's irate voice cut across his reverie. "And you are just telling me this now? You moron!"

John raised an eyebrow. "Problem in lab? Do you need to get back?"

Rodney let out a huff of annoyance. "No, there's a problem with stupid people in the lab. People who wait until 15 minutes after they finish their damn coffee break to let me know that Miss Curie was just spotted over by the gym. You know, they one where Teyla always beats you up with sticks."

"Ah, you mean the gym where Ronon sometimes teaches you how to pay attention with sticks?"

Rodney pulled a sour face. "Shut up. Let's get over there before she vanishes again and we're at this for another three hours."

And just like that, they were headed back to the tower, and it was dropped. But not forgotten. Not by a long shot.


They combed the corridors adjacent to the gym after confirming the kitten was not hiding there. Word had gotten out about Curie being missing, and it seemed as though every 5 minutes they were getting conflicting reports about where she had been seen last. Sheppard judged by McKay's stormy expression, he was ready to do bodily harm to the next person who offered their 'help'.

John decided it was time to defuse Rodney the best way he knew how.

"Rodney. We're going to go eat."

McKay looked at him like he'd propose teaching the Wraith how to tango. "We have to find Curie!"

"Yes, we do," he agreed, then placed his hand firmly on McKay's bicep. He didn't allow Rodney to shrug free of the hold, instead giving him his best command glare as he directed him to the nearest transporter. "But first, we will eat," he stated, ignoring the other man's protests.

Sheppard relinquished his grasp once they were in the transporter cubicle. McKay crossed his arms and sulked while Sheppard tapped in the destination. A moment later, they stepped out and walked over to the mess. It wasn't too busy, being a little late for lunch and still a bit early for dinner, but there were a few people about. When Rodney made to head straight for the coffee, Sheppard redirected him with the simple expedience of securing a grip on his shoulder and steering him toward the food. McKay squawked at that.

"I need coffee!" he insisted loudly, even as he went along with John's direction.

"Get food first," Sheppard insisted, grabbing a tray for himself and then handing one to McKay. "C'mon Rodney, you're the one who's always bitching about being hypoglycaemic-"

"I had a powerbar!" he complained as he took a roast beef sandwich.

"Yeah, that was what, four hours ago?" Sheppard inquired as he grabbed turkey, then placed an apple on McKay's tray as well as his own.

McKay removed the apple and took a brownie instead. "I am quite capable of feeding myself, thank you Colonel!" he snapped out.

John lightly smacked the back of McKay's head and put the apple back on his tray.


"Vitamins, Rodney, I'm sure you've heard of them?" They set their trays down on an unoccupied table. "Now you can get coffee."

Rodney walked off muttering about military commanders with dictatorship qualities, but came back with coffee for both of them. John picked up the steaming mug with a mumbled 'thank you' and regarded it thoughtfully.

He figured he should be having some sort of freak out by now. Certainly, if he'd found out at 20 that his best guy friend was interested in him in a non-platonic way, he'd have been inclined to run at high speeds in the opposite direction. But somehow, finding out that Rodney was interested in him? It just wasn't a big deal. And apparently, it was far less of a surprise to him that he would have expected, what with Rodney's talk of big-chested blondes and the hotness that was Samantha Carter.

He finally sipped the coffee, and was unsurprised that Rodney had it to a tee; double cream and two sugars.

Sheppard took a bite of his sandwich and realized just how hungry he was. The next few minutes they sat in companionable silence until all that was left was coffee dregs and crumbs. He caught McKay's eyes just as he was taking the final bite of his apple, and John allowed himself a smirk. Rodney tossed the core on his empty plate as he chewed and swallowed. Sheppard opened his mouth, but he never got a word out before McKay cut him off.

"Oh, just shut up. You were right. I was hungry. Now let's get back to looking for Curie."

Sheppard chuckled. "Okay, okay. I think we should check back by the lab and see if Radek can tweak the city sensors a bit to give us a little more help in trying to find her."

Rodney considered that for a moment, then nodded. "It could certainly help. I don't want to take him away from his other work as his contributions are very important - and if you ever tell him I said that I will deny it -"

"As if he'd believe me."

"-but if he was able to get us something a bit more specific, it could make a huge difference."

They nodded at each other, but neither moved. John debated the wisdom of saying something now, or waiting till a more opportune time, and then McKay took the decision away from him.

"So, about earlier."

John gave him a slight smile and held up a hand. "It's okay, Rodney. It's not a big deal."

McKay eyed him askance, head canted to one side. "What's okay, exactly? What is it you think is going on that is okay?"

John took a deep breath, blew it out. In for a penny, in for a pound. "Are you gay or bi?"

Rodney blinked. "Actually, uh... I'm straight."

John felt his brain ricochet off the back of his skull from the kickback on that one. "What?" Had he really misread this entire thing so completely? He started to feel queasy.

McKay looked down at his empty coffee cup, his face colouring slightly."Well, mostly. There was this thing that happened once when I was working on my second doctorate, but it was only once."

"Sounds like there's a quite a story behind that," Sheppard replied cautiously.

"You might say." McKay was turning a very interesting shade of scarlet.

"So, how long have you felt..." John made a vague hand motion indicating himself.

Rodney rolled his eyes even though his cheeks were glowing. "You mean about you?" he clarified.

John nodded, and felt inexplicably relieved that he wasn't wrong after all. Which seemed weird, because wouldn't it have been more of a relief to think he'd made a stupid mistake? He shoved the thought aside as Rodney began to speak.

"I don't know, really. I, uh, I always realized that you were an attractive guy as men go," he stammered, eyes fixed on the table. "One day I realized that *I* found you attractive." McKay looked up, his face a study in devastation. "This means you want me off the team now, doesn't it? You really don't have to remove me from the team, I can still work with you, it's not like I haven't ever worked with someone I had an unrequited crush on before you know." McKay winced as if he'd just realized what he'd said. "You're not going to hit me, are you?"

Sheppard roc ked back in his seat, stung. "Geeze, McKay, no!" John looked around, then leaned in across the table, getting right up in McKay's space. "Seriously Rodney, it's okay. I meant what I said." He placed his hand on McKay's shoulder, telling himself it was not just so he could feel the little tremor that went through the man every time he touched him. "As long as you can get the job done, there is always a place for you on my team. I am not going to hit you, though I may still slap you upside the head from time to time when you're doing something stupid."


"Look, I know what kind of person you are. When it comes to your work you are meticulous and thorough, and I don't think any kind of feelings you may have about someone on your team would cause that to change."

He really didn't have any reason to prolong the touch, so John pulled his hand away, despite the fact that having Rodney react to him on such a basic level was really kind of a trip. He didn't want to be an asshole and take advantage of the poor guy though.

"Besides, it's really kind of flattering." John gave McKay his most charming smile, the one he used for the chieftain's daughters and visiting dignitaries that he wanted to dazzle them.

Rodney's face became very still, and he drew a deep shuddering breath, before turning away, lunging to his feet and taking off, hell bent for leather from the mess.

Well, shit. That was not the reaction John had been hoping for. He jumped up and followed after him, catching up within a few strides. "Rodney! C'mon buddy, what's wrong?"

"Everything's fine, I'm fine," came the tight response as Rodney kept heading away. "I just need... a break for a few minutes. I'll meet you in the lab in half an hour."

John stopped and let McKay walk away from him, quickly rounding the corner to the corridor where their quarters were located in. He wondered if there was anything that he should do for the next half hour before he met up with McKay, but nothing came to mind He decided to head back to his quarters as well.

The door slid open with a welcoming swish and he stepped into his room, unreasonably grateful when it closed behind him again. He approached the bed with every intention of collapsing onto it when he spotted the very thing that had been driving them crazy all afternoon. Little Miss Curie was curled up in a ball, fast asleep on his pillow.

John felt his lips form a smile despite the frustration the aforementioned ball of fluff had caused for them today. He scooped her up into his arms, cuddling her against his chest in the way he'd seen Rodney hold her. She mewled in protest, but he settled her with a few gentle strokes, then undid her collar. Once he had it off, he tucked it in his pocket. On the off chance she got away from him before he got her back to McKay, at least she wouldn't get far.

As he walked out of his room, he taped his radio. "Hey, McKay!"

He waited a moment, but there was no response. "Say again, McKay! Buddy, you there?"

Finally, a response. "Oh for the love of--" McKay sounded like he was in pain, or exhausted or both. "Dammit all to hell, Sheppard! Did you not just hear me say I needed a few minutes to myself? I've been with you all afternoon, so can't whatever it is wait another half hour?"

Sheppard was almost at Rodney's door. "Rodney, are you sure you're okay, because you really don't sound too good, and you were looking kind of rough earlier."

He heard McKay take a ragged breath. "Colonel. I mean this is the nicest possible way, but please fuck off and don't contact me again for the next 20 minutes, unless it's about something of earth shattering importance."

He thought about that for all of three seconds before responding. "Oh, I think that *you'll* think it's of earth shattering importance. Rodney, trust me. I just need you-"

A muffled gasp came across before the connection went dead. "Rodney? Are you still there, buddy? Rodney!"

John wondered, as he came to a halt, if he should open McKay's door. He did not actually think about opening the door, or think 'open' at the door, or do anything that one normally did to open a door on Atlantis. Nevertheless, the door slid quietly back to reveal one Rodney McKay, naked from the waist down, sprawled out on his bed, rapidly pumping his cock.

John inhaled sharply, the heady scent of arousal filling his nose. Unconsciously, he licked his lips as he stared at the sight before him. He felt his pulse quicken, and then tiny claws dug into his chest when he inadvertently tightened his grip on the kitten. He tried to speak, but nothing came out the first time. He tried again.

"R-Rodney?" he finally managed.

McKay's eyes snapped open and he startled as he realized that he was no longer alone. "Jesus, Colonel!" he snapped, scrambling for something to cover up with, but there was nothing within reach. He gave up with a sigh and just flopped back onto the bed, covering his eyes with a forearm while his other hand fisted the sheets tightly. "I thought we already discussed the topic of how you are NOT supposed to override my LOCKED DOORS!"

John shook his head , eyes still fixed on McKay's naked - and fully aroused - body. "I didn't... I mean, it wasn't me! It was... oh, for fuck's sake!" He dug around in his pocket, and when he found it, held up Curie's collar. "It really wasn't my fault this time!"

McKay turned his head slightly to peer over at the object Sheppard was holding up. When he saw what it was, saw that John had the kitten secure in his arms, his expression seemed to be equal parts embarrassment and joy. "You found Curie!"

John was finding it curiously difficult to breathe normally. "Yeah. I, uh, I took off her collar in case she got away from me." He felt himself break into a sweat. Was it just him, or were McKay's quarters unusually warm? "I just didn't know that... I mean, I wasn't thinking about how it would automatically open your door."

At first, Sheppard thought Rodney had gone into convulsions; a second later he realized McKay was actually shaking with laughter. And it was doing very interesting things to the part of his anatomy that was, despite the awkward situation, still impressively inflated. John kept thinking that he should probably look away, but he couldn't seem to make it happen.

"Well, Colonel," McKay spoke a moment later, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful, but I am slightly indisposed at this very moment." There was an edge of hysteria in his voice. "As you are currently standing in the entrance to my room, you're holding the door open for any casual passerby to glance in. One experience with being caught in flagrante delicto today is quite enough for me, so if you don't mind, I'd thank you kindly to back out and go do something else for the next few minutes. I will then meet you at the lab at the previously agreed upon time and we can both pretend that this never happened."

Without a second thought, Sheppard stepped fully into the room, allowing the door to shut behind him.

McKay propped himself up with his elbows, looking uncertainly at John. "I think you may be experiencing some confusion over the concept of 'backing out'," he commented, tilting his head to one side. "What are you doing here, John?"

Sheppard's mouth went dry. "I,um. I wanted to bring you your cat."

McKay shook his head and let himself settle back onto the bed. "Don't play at being obtuse, John. Why are you still in my room?" As Sheppard watched, Rodney trailed his hand up the side of his leg, fingers sweeping over the front of his thigh, caressing and stroking. "You could have just walked away."

He tried to form an answer, but all he could come up with was that he didn't want to leave. Seeing McKay laid out half naked and turned on, knowing that it was because of him - it made him feel weird and strange and warm, just like it had earlier, when he'd felt Rodney shudder under his hand in the hallway and in the mess. As John gazed down, he wondered how McKay would respond if he touched him now, on the bare warm skin of his belly, right above his cock.

It suddenly occurred to him that maybe after what had just happened, McKay really didn't want him here. He felt a flush rise on his face. "I didn't - I couldn't... look, I'll just leave like you asked-"

"No, don't," McKay cut in quickly before he could act on it. "Look, go put Curie in the bathroom, okay?"

John looked at him, bemused by the request. "What?"

McKay sighed. "I can't... just, not with her in the room. Bathroom. Please?"

He complied with the request, setting the kitten on the bathroom mat. Curie gave him an interrogative "Mrrroowr?" and he smiled.

"You've caused no end of trouble today, missy," he told her as he scritched her under the chin, earning a purr of approval. "Just give us a little while to get sorted out, okay girl?" She kneaded the mat, then happily curled up in a ball on it, still purring.

John thought 'closed' at the door as he left the room, and a few short steps later, he was back by the bed. McKay still had one arm thrown across his eyes, but his other hand had moved back to his erection, stroking it in a steady rhythm.

He sat down on the edge of the bed by McKay's hip and watched as Rodney slid his fingers up the length of his cock. He paused at the top, breath hitching as he skimmed his palm lightly over the head, then wrapped his hand firmly around the shaft and pulled it back down to repeat the process once more.

John experienced a moment of intense cognitive dissonance as the facts he knew - he was straight, not even slightly interested in men, thanks very much - warred with what he was feeling right now - the desire to reach out and touch McKay, to see if his cock was as hot and smooth as it looked, to lick the pale skin of his stomach and see if it was salty. He took a deep, hitching breath, and looked up to find Rodney watching him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked as his eyes strayed back to Rodney's busy hand.

Rodney let out a huff of laughter. "I'm thinking that this must be a dream, except it can't be, or you would be the one touching me."

Sheppard's gaze drifted back to Rodney's face. "Do you want me to touch you?"

"Oh god, yes, please yes, now would be good," Rodney babbled out the plea, tossing his head back as his hands dropped to the sheet on either side of him and clutched at the blanket beneath him.

Tentatively, John reached out and placed his hand on Rodney's knee, and watched the man tremble beneath his fingers. Rodney's skin was warm and smooth, and Sheppard's hand slid up the line of his leg, over thigh and hip until it came to rest on Rodney's stomach. Carefully avoiding Rodney's cock for the time being, he trailed his fingertips back and forth over the soft flesh of his belly, describing lazy swoops and circles on the canvas of his skin, fascinated by the way Rodney reacted, twitching and moaning as he explored.

"I wondered what would happen if I did that," he whispered, allowing his hand to wander further up Rodney's torso, his blunt fingernails brushing over a nipple in their quest. Rodney gasped, arching into the touch. "You're so responsive," he marvelled, letting his fingernail catch the nipple again, causing another gasp.

"You... are... a tease," Rodney managed, panting and twisting on the bed.

John glanced up, and was utterly floored by the naked longing he saw on Rodney's face. He suddenly shifted his body to straddle McKay's hips, and then leaned forward to place his hands on either side of McKay's head. It was suddenly of the utmost importance that he kiss that weirdly annoying, expressive sexy mouth right now.

As their mouths met, he heard McKay mutter, "It's about damn time," and then it was all about Rodney's tongue and his soft, firm lips, and whoa, could he ever kiss! Like so many things between them, kissing quickly turned into a friendly competition, and John lifted one hand to cradle Rodney's face, angling his head just so, holding him still to plunder his mouth, taking charge with no holds barred. He felt Rodney's hands tightly gripping his hips, felt him thrusting up against him, and they both froze as they realized at the same time that John was hard.

John pulled back just far enough to look Rodney in the eyes, and saw the man looked utterly debauched, face flushed, lips swollen and well kissed. He realized he probably looked about the same. He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly Rodney's hand was cupping him through his BDUs and he was the one shuddering.

"Oh god," he moaned as Rodney squeezed gently.

"Not fair that I'm the only one naked here," McKay insisted as he started working the buttons open.

"You're not completely naked," John disagreed, voice unsteady and thin. "Still got that shirt on."

Somehow McKay wriggled underneath him, which served to create more friction and make him groan again, and a second later the t-shirt went sailing across the room, and Rodney's hands were back at work getting John divested of his BDUs.

"Your turn!" he said as he undid the final button and tried to shove down John's BDU's and boxers.

Sheppard had discovered long ago that when Rodney McKay had a course of action in mind, one either fell into step or got the hell out of the way lest they were trampled under McKay's plan. He hadn't realized that this extended to the bedroom as well, but somehow seconds later, he was flat on his back and Rodney was skinning him out of his pants. He barely had time to get up on his elbows before Rodney had his boots and socks off, and suddenly Rodney was straddling him, efficiently unbuttoning his shirt. Upon reflection, It seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea, and once the over shirt was off, he obligingly lifted his arms so McKay could pull of his t-shirt as well.

The shirt was still sailing through the air when Rodney tackled him to the bed, kissing him like he was the best coffee, the best chocolate, like his mouth contained the secrets to the Ancient database and Atlantis, like tomorrow might never come.

He wrapped one arm around McKay's back, and reached up to slide his free hand into McKay hair, kissing him like he was all that was cool and fun, crazy and exciting, annoying yet amazing about Atlantis. He got a grip on McKay's hair and pulled his head back slightly. Before he could voice a complaint, John sucked Rodney's bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling on it before trailing his lips down from the corner of his mouth to his chin, along the line of his jaw. McKay got with the program, arching back to expose his neck, which John immediately took advantage of, but the angle was awkward. With a smirk, he used a combat move and promptly had Rodney beneath him once more, only this time, he was settled between Rodney's legs, and could feel the other man's hard on digging in to his leg.

McKay gave him a dark look as he slipped his arms around John. "You don't always have to be on... oh... god, fuck!" Rodney trailed off with a whimper.

Sheppard latched on to suck and nibble at the tender skin where shoulder met neck while he moved just *so* and shifted his hips to grind up against McKay. He let out a moan of his own, stunned by how very good it felt to have his hard, aching cock up against another one. He slid a hand up McKay's side, under his arm, curling his fingers up and over his shoulder as he continued to thrust against him.

"Ohgodohgod..." McKay moaned, grinding up in response to his thrusts. John felt McKay's fingers sliding along his scalp, felt Rodney's legs wrap around him, and then gasped as he felt Rodney's other hand reach between their bodies and grasp them both.

"Don't stop," McKay demanded hoarsely, and John went back to nibbling on his neck, licking the hollow of his shoulder, biting down when McKay pulled just a little harder than expected. McKay hissed,

"Oh god, do that again," he begged, working them both frantically.

John was panting, close to the edge, but he did his best to oblige. He kissed Rodney's neck again, this time nibbling a path down the other side before licking a spot and biting down.

McKay arched up against him hard and made a strangled sound, and John felt something hot and wet on his belly and chest. Rodney shuddered, then slumped back to the bed, completely boneless. He was still hard, and he wanted to come, but the novelty of having done something that made Rodney come was pretty amazing.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Jus' sec."

John smirked. Rodney was incoherent after orgasm. Good information to file away for future use.

A moment later, Rodney blinked up at him owlishly. "You didn't come."

"Uhm. Well, no. But that's okay."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Noble self-sacrifice has no place in my bedroom, Colonel."

Sheppard was about to tell him that he had no intention of being self sacrificing. Before he had a chance, Rodney wriggled out from under him, pushed him on his back, grabbed his hips and sucked him down in one fell swoop.

John damn near bucked off the bed, and McKay pulled away in annoyance. "Hey, I do need to breathe you know!" he snapped out.

"I just... you... fuck, Rodney, give a guy some warning!"

"Okay, consider yourself warned, and don't do that again or you'll be jerking off in the bathroom alone."

With that, McKay dove in again, and John clutched the blanket beneath him very tightly to keep from thrusting into Rodney's mouth, thereby ending the amazing blowjob he was receiving.

His last thought before everything faded completely - besides the sure and certain knowledge that he and McKay were going to be spending a lot of off-duty time together in the foreseeable future - was that was going to make sure that Curie was the most spoiled cat in the history of the universe. Ever.


( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 27th, 2007 01:12 pm (UTC)
Very funny and amazingly sweet!

>"Nobel self-sacrifice has no place in my bedroom, Colonel."<
Made me lol so hard :D
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)
Gah! I spelled that wrong! ::blush::

I am glad it made you laugh anyway! Thanks for the feedback!
(no subject) - master_kogane - Dec. 28th, 2007 01:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 27th, 2007 02:02 pm (UTC)
Wonderful, thanks!
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:32 am (UTC)
You are most welcome! I am glad that you enjoyed!
Dec. 27th, 2007 03:29 pm (UTC)
like his mouth contained the secrets to the Ancient database

Dec. 28th, 2007 02:36 am (UTC)
YOU! I was terrified of what you were going to say, Miss A-rock-falls-on-them-and-they-fuck-off-stage!

Oh god, I'm blushing! You made me BLUSH! I'm not so much used to people I know in RL OUTSIDE OF FANFIC CIRCLES actually reading stuff I write. 'Specially pr0n. ::blushes again::

I really hope you don't hate it or think it sounds stupid, and if you do, please smile at me and pretend you like it, kay?
(no subject) - hsifyppah - Dec. 28th, 2007 05:28 am (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 27th, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)

Miss Curie strikes again! That kitty is such a genius, running away to have the boys search for her which leads to interest and a steamy first time. Loved it.
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:46 am (UTC)
She is pretty smart. That's why her and Rodney are so perfect together.

And you thought it was steamy? *squee* Thanks! Yay! It was my very first slash smut, so I am happy to hear that it got the job done.

One day, I hope to write fic that earns me a asdkjads;j and a ::Guh!Bunk!::, but until then, knowing that I hit 'steamy' is most awesome!
Dec. 27th, 2007 10:21 pm (UTC)
Wheeee! You posted!! I'm afraid I haven't had time to read it yet (am sneakily online when I shouldn't be....) but will return! Hope you all had a great Christmas! cep xxx
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:56 am (UTC)
oh! I know I have already posted it, but I would really love it, if you could possibly find time, to give it a good once over. I'm sure that you would help take off the rough edges. I posted this with too much caffeine and not nearly enough sleep , and it needs work.

I can send you a word doc when you have time, just let me know.
(no subject) - the_cephalopod - Dec. 28th, 2007 11:01 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hsifyppah - Dec. 28th, 2007 05:30 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - the_cephalopod - Dec. 28th, 2007 11:03 am (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 28th, 2007 01:46 am (UTC)
It was going to suck, but it looked like he was actually going to have to talk to McKay. About whatever this was. And there would probably be feelings involved. The thought made him slightly ill.

Poor boyz... ::grin:: Good thing they found a way other than talking!
Dec. 28th, 2007 03:10 am (UTC)
Hee! I think they enjoyed the less-verbal communication better!
Dec. 29th, 2007 11:59 am (UTC)
Okay, A) I'll be in my bunk! Guh, you melted me! I'm a puddle of hormones and incoherent flailing. And B) Yay, kitten!fic!!! Kitties and McShep are the two sure ways to win my love, and this had both. So yay!

And C) I loved sticking Curie in the bathroom, because I feel awkward and guilty just *reading* this in front of my kitty. At least he didn't come over and try to get between me and the screen (as is his wont), or I would have had to click away. He doesn't need to know mommy likes porn.

Rodney masturbating while talking to John, by the way? So much of the awesome. Especially at the 'I just need you--', and John staying clueless (even through the noises) right up until the door opened... masterfully done.

Dec. 30th, 2007 05:45 am (UTC)

I sent you to your bunk! I am so happy! *squee*

Kitties cannot be in the bedroom during sex. It's just wrong. I made my ex stop once so I could shoo the cat out of the room.. He was not happy. I didn't care. There was no nooky tilll the kitty was gone - it would be like having a kid in the room. Can't do it.

Hee! The "I need you" line was something that Cephy suggested when we wer planning these fics a number of weeks ago, and that was actually the inspiration for this whole fic - Rodney having to hightail it back to his room and jerk off, forgetting to remove his radio first so when John calls, he's in the middle of it all...

Oh shit. I just realized that I never actually mention them taking off their radios. Hm. Good thing Cep is going to give this a post-mortem so I can fic it up. Upon re-reading, I see all the little flaws that need polishing up.

I am so glad that you enjoyed it - it was my first ever slash porn. I was very nervous about writing it and afraid that it would flop like a floppy thing. I am glad that it was a happy read!
(no subject) - tigerrrl - Jan. 4th, 2008 12:51 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 2nd, 2008 04:25 am (UTC)
Hee, loved this. I can just see John so very oblivious as to why McKay is acting like such a weirdo and it never even occurring to him that Rodney needs a little "private time" after spending the day being around him. Loved how John got over his shock, and had enough presence of mind to tuck away the kitty. Kitties thinking their people are 'playing' and digging in tiny, sharp claws in tender places at inopportune times would just be a real mood killer. LOL

I'm glad your slash cherry is popped and I expect to see more from you, missy. ;-P
Jan. 3rd, 2008 07:59 am (UTC)

I am so glad that you liked it! It was a little skeery writing the slash, and on re-reading it I see all sorts of things wrong and things to clean up and redundant words and stuff like that. Bleh. I was too impatient to wait for beta to look it over. My bad.

There is more to come! I am working on a Cam gets Rodney Drunk as Shep Watches fic. Because any reason to make Shep watch Rodney get loose and relaxed and start acting cute and flirty instead of just white and nerdy (OMG that so rhymed!) is a good reason to write a fic.

There will be more Kitty fic too. Eventually. Yay!

How much do I love my boys HOW MUCH???!!!

It's probably neither legal nor healthy. Pfft. Ya, whatever.
(no subject) - sp23 - Jan. 3rd, 2008 01:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - shaddyr - Jan. 3rd, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 2nd, 2008 11:11 am (UTC)
Great fic for the McShep fandom, and welcome! I remember you from the Spuffy fandom. Fantastic to see a(nother) great writer enter the SGA domain, and I thought your fic, with previously straight guys finding pleasure in slash for the first time, totally appropriate for the sentiment. Kudos.
Jan. 3rd, 2008 08:04 am (UTC)
Great fic for the McShep fandom, and welcome! I remember you from the Spuffy fandom

Thank you so much! I am happy you enjoyed it! You read my Spuffy too? Wow! I sometimes wondered if anyone was reading that stuff. Nice to hear!

I thought your fic, with previously straight guys finding pleasure in slash for the first time, totally appropriate for the sentiment.


Thanks! I like the ones where they were both straight (or convinced they were) and then realize that it's not about the male/female, it's about the spark. And Ye Gods, do the boys *ever* have spark!

Slash. I have truly come over to the dark side. Holy crap. I still can't quite believe that I'm one of them now. You know. A *slash* writer. Holy crap.

I think I need a button.

Or mebbe just an icon.
(no subject) - chanel_5 - Jan. 3rd, 2008 01:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - shaddyr - Jan. 3rd, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chanel_5 - Jan. 3rd, 2008 11:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 3rd, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
This is hott, funny, and sweet! \o/ Everything I could possibly want in a McShep fic. :D I love how John's obvious and provocative, and even when he does figure out why Rodney's being all weird, he still doesn't get why Rodney wants some alone time. *shakes head* They're such dorks. ^_^

Curie was so adorable, too. Now I want a kitten. :)

p.s. - you know your keyboard icon with 'geek' written on the keys? Awesome, that. :) When I saw it, I looked down at my own keyboard to see if mine said 'geek', too. *is an airhead* XD
Jan. 3rd, 2008 08:10 am (UTC)
I am so glad that you liked it!

I worried that it may seem like John's being a little stupid to not figure it out, but then, I was thinking that he's still pretty boggled over the whole idea of McKay being interested in him, and it wouldn't even occur to him that for as much as he was feeling weird tingles around McKay, mebbe McKay was feeling something tingly too. Cuz guys can just be stupid oblivious sometimes.

They are *totally* dorks. And They would *so* be the ones who would have sex, then watch ST:VOY and argue over whether B'elana or 7 of 9 was hotter, then have sex again.

p.s. - you know your keyboard icon with 'geek' written on the keys? Awesome, that. :) When I saw it, I looked down at my own keyboard to see if mine said 'geek', too. *is an airhead* XD

OMG I love you so much for telling me that!! Really! ::loves::
Jan. 3rd, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
This really was too cute. I love clueless!John. *g*
Jan. 4th, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
"Geeze McKay, I was just being thorough. Reliable doesn't mean infallible, and I don't mind getting down on my knees once in a while if it means doing the job right."


And damn straight Curie should be the MOST spoiled cat ever. EVER EVER EVER!

That was an enjoyable read. hehehehe.
Feb. 7th, 2009 05:14 am (UTC)
good stuff. i liked shep's "duh!" moment in the hallway.
( 34 comments — Leave a comment )


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