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I have been meaning to make a post for *days*. Where the hell does the time go?

I was trying to figure out why I felt so *tired* of fanac lately, why it was making me feel all "GRAH! Frack you ALL!" Then I thought back over the last 6 months...

September: Insanity to the Nth degree with trying to get several months of work done in several weeks since virtual *no* programming was done before VCon.

Seriously. We were still finalizing major chunks of programming five days before the con. This should not happen. Ever. My stress level was somewhere in the "Wraith approaching Atlantis and the ZPM is at 5%" vicinity.

I was at a VCon planning meeting on Sunday, and found out our programming coordinator just resigned. I'm not really thinking this is A Bad Thing(tm) as this is the same one from last year, and I do *not* want to go through the OMG WTF are we doing AIEEEEEE!! programming freak out at the last minute again.

I think I made this plain at the December meeting when I announced that as much as I like the gal in charge of programming and understood that a) this had all been new to her and b) she'd had some seriously screwy shite go down for her last year, programming had really been a major cluster fuck of epic proportions and if I didn't see a programming grid fleshed out on paper for concom perusal no later than June, I was going to move in, take over, and do the whole goddamn thing myself.

Okay. I may have over reacted slightly. But can you *blame* me? *gnashes teeth* Maddening. So, I'm having a preliminary programming meeting at my place at the end of February, just to get the ball rolling. I'm sure someone else will come along and take programming on.


I hope.

October: VCon. Nuff said.
* also, real life stuff - shift change at work, new team, new supervisor, new team lead. New responsibilities, new expectations.

My shift at work changed at the same time, which had my moving from a Sun-Wed 5:45am - 2:15pm shift to a Mon-Fri 9-5:30 shift.

As much as having weekends off *rocks* the house, I am still getting used to the later shift - and it's been really frustrating not getting home until almost 6:30 most nights. I am used to being home before the kids and getting dinner for them - Jazzy Girl has to shoulder most of that responsibility now, and it sometimes makes her a bit snarly.

Speaking of which. Teenagers Grr. Argh!

How can such a smart kid do things so stupid sometimes? She is driving me crazy lately! She's constantly got her ear glued to the telephone, her room has more dishes piled up in it than the kitchen does, she's surly and uncommunicative when I want her to talk about what the hell is going on with her... and just today, when I came home early from work at noon, I caught her upstairs. She said she wasn't skipping but when she heard my come home, she didn't think I would believe that she was on her way back to school because all the lying that she did last year. She was afraid to come downstairs because I would yell at her. So she decided to hide in her room.


OMG! I drove her back to school and yelled at her for acting stupid. I asked her to tell me - did I ever refuse to give her a chance to explain herself? Had I ever been unreasonable when she had a logical explanation? Did I yell at her and rant for no reason? Did I not listen to her and ask her to tell me what the hell was going on?


It's a good thing I love her, else I might be tempted to strangle her. No, strike that. I am tempted to strangle her. Loving her doesn't eliminate the desire to wring her neck. It just prevents me from actually doing so.

November/December: Organizing Conflikt songbook stuff; figuring out hospitality menu plans; zapping down to Washington for filk and pre-Conflikt concom meeting; VCon post-mortem and first planning meeting for next year
* also, real life stuff - Co-op Social Committee Christmas stuff. Kids Breakfast w/ Santa. Adult's Christmas party. New Year's Eve party. Planning, decorating, shopping.

January: Zapping down to Washington to hang with cool filkers and have pre-Conflikt practice w/ cflute; then, finally - Conflikt!! Running hospitality! We can haz a con, yay! Oh, so tired...

I went into work the Monday after Conflikt, but had to leave because I had a huge assed migraine and was so fracked up I locked myself out of my computer at work. Useless. I didn't even last 2 hours.

Then, that Thursday night, Monkey Boy comes down with the flu. Friday morning he was so dizzy he could barely get out of bed and he was running a 102 - 103 F temperature for the rest of the day. He was fine by Monday, and it seems the girls and I escaped getting hit with it.

Well, on the weekend he seemed a bit congested, and then last night he was complaining that his ear was blocked up. This morning he said it was bothering him, so I told him to call me at work if it started to hurt. I didn't even log an hour before he called.

When I got him at the school he said his pain was at 2/10. When we got to the clinic he said it was 4/10 and they said it was a 45 minute wait. When we walked over to the drugstore to get him some tyelnol, he said it was a 7/10. By the time we got back to the clinic, he was in tears and said it was over 10.

My poor little guy. It just kills me when I can't make it better for him right away.

It took several hours and 400 mg of Advil to get his pain under control. Hopefully that antibiotics will have kicked in by tomorrow and the inflammation will have gone down enough that he won't be in so much pain.

My ex just dropped off Girly girl. And then hung out to chit chat with me about meaningless crap that I do not want to talk to him about.

I don't care about his stupid A+ certification course. I don't care that his WCB claim is running out. I don't want to argue with him about static and dynamic IP addresses when setting up a Linksys router because it doesn't MATTER, I just want to reset the password. The router doesn't care what ISP it is!

OMG. I can't believe that I used to sleep with that man. He is so fracking ANNOYING. GAH! Of course, the upside is the kids, but seriously. OMG. What was I *thinking*??

Oh right. I was feeling desperate and he was there. I remember now.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Desperation and loneliness are NOT good reasons to stay with someone. Feh.

So. Am groking the overall exhaustion, with both life and fandom at this time.




( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:09 am (UTC)
::hugs:: For yuk, both RL and fandom. We have all been sick here, too.

Also, we are both up too late. :-)
Feb. 15th, 2008 02:32 am (UTC)
::hugs back::

I am terrible for staying up late. It's my time, ya know? Kids are in bed, everything's quiet - *my* time.

And then I stay up too much and get run down. And sick. Bleh.

Sometimes I am dumb. *blush*
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
Our family is making a valiant effort not to not get too involved in fandom. We've been through GAFIA before and in fact at one time could have been attending pros at Westercon when it came to the area, but we were just so burned out we weren't interested. (We did attend as pros at Norwescon for several years on the strength of our gaming industry credentials, but that's another story from an earlier lifetime.)

Now we figure maybe 3 cons a year plus housefilks is pretty good. We'd probably consider a fourth con if VCon and Orycon weren't so close together, and we already have our VCon memberships. (But if we don't get passports or those new drivers license border crossing thingies they're supposed to be issuing we'll have a hard time getting across the border.)

Here's hoping Monkey Boy gets to feeling better. I've had ear infections before. My kids have ear infections before. They are the screaming, crying version of No Fun.
Feb. 15th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
Ah, yes. I GAFIAted for about 6 or 7 years I think. Slowly started getting back into fandom after Monkey boy was about 5 I think.

I'd never been invited to be any kind of guest at any con before being a filk guest at Norwescon last year. It was so cool!

Aiee! Get your passports! I really want to see you guys at VCon!!

I wish there were more housefilks up here. I just don't have a lot of room. hsifyppah has enough room for a Stargate watching and girly drink Symposium, but not a full house of filkers. Unless they want to spill into the hall and over the balcony.

Hmmm. Perhaps we can get motherinlawtree to be so kind as to host another one. Her place is so lovely and has room for many filkers. Yis. I must beg her to host.

Monkeyboy is feeling much better. Antibiotics are teh awesome. As is Advil. Thank god for the good drugs.
Feb. 13th, 2008 01:50 pm (UTC)
I understand Monkey Boy's pain - I've been there, done that when I was his age & younger. I used to get such severe allergy attacks & ear aches that nothing seemed to kill the pain. I haven't had an ear infection since 2001 & that was when I got the sinus infection from beyond & had to switch antibiotics, since the one was disagreeing w/ my stomach...

Figuring you were hitting burnout w/ massive RL & post con stuff, I just put a note out on my LJ asking for a beta reader - hopefully I will get a nibble from one of the SGA folks I have f'listed! :p

And now, time to get ready for work.... slowly but surely going to build a client base here so I can be damn sure to get to Vancouver this summer! :-p
Feb. 15th, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
Ah, dude. Ear and Sinus infections are teh suck. I am glad you have not had one in a while. I would not wish them on the Wraith.

I was not trying to ignore your fic. I was just feeling so very "BLARGH!" about everything.

I actually got a couple pages of it done, I just haven't had a chance to finish it.
Feb. 15th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
Wheee! Progress!

'Cause, ya'know, I'd like to get it all posted before it's 3 months overdue? :p (I seriously doubt our ability to get it all done before 2/25 - I've been of the severe brain dead variety once I get home - I seriously need to see about getting a DSL line at the salon just because I need something to occupy my mind during downtime there. :p)

Also, I have decided when it comes to writing SGA-Verse, I am so not moving past mid to late s3. Because *sniff* I miss Lizzie too damn much! (I'm still so damn tempted to mail laxative laced chocolates to JM for his sheer stupidity on that move! *eg*)

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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