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I am editing something. Need input.

Is it these:

Get long-term peace of mind for your new item1 or item2, with coverage beyond the manufacturer's warranty.

Get long-term peace of mind for your new product, with coverage beyond the manufacturer's warranty.

OR:

Get long-term peace of mind for your new item1 or item2 with coverage beyond the manufacturer's warranty.

Get long-term peace of mind for your new product with coverage beyond the manufacturer's warranty.

I say no comma. What do you say?

ETA: one more sentence -

"Never worry about shipping costs, deductibles or hidden fees - we'll replace, or refund your ITEM for all covered breakdowns with no out-of-pocket costs for you."

I'm thinking there needs to *be* a comma after breakdowns and I'd say TO you instead of FOR you.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
fenchurche
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
I'd also say no comma.
shaddyr
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
judifilksign
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:23 pm (UTC)
English Teacher says:
"Get long-term peace of mind for your new item1 or item2, with coverage beyond the manufacturer's warranty."

Is correct, because you have a couple of items in a row before you go on to talk about coverage.

"Get long-term peace of mind for your new product with coverage beyond the manufacturer's warranty."

Is also correct, because you only have one item before you talk about coverage.

No comma for either sentence is okay, but it would be more grammatical with the first example to include one.
judifilksign
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
Re: English Teacher says:
I like the second sentence, sans comma, for it reads better for clarity.
shaddyr
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:26 pm (UTC)
Re: English Teacher says:
Hee! You saw it before I commented - you're quick!

Thanks~!
shaddyr
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:25 pm (UTC)
Re: English Teacher says:
how about the 3rd sentence I just added? Comma, no comma? The current word choice seems clunky to me.
willowgreen
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:40 pm (UTC)
"Never worry about shipping costs, deductibles or hidden fees - we'll replace, or refund your ITEM for all covered breakdowns with no out-of-pocket costs for you."

The actual error in this sentence is the comma after the word "replace." Also, technically, the phrase "refund your item" doesn't really make sense; to me it implies that you'll give the money back to the item, not the purchaser. The phrase "we'll replace your ITEM or refund your purchase price" would be better. It's not unclear as is, though, so I wouldn't stress about it.

IMO, the sentence is fine with or without a comma after "breakdowns," and either "costs for you" or "costs to you" is OK. That said, see how this flies:

Never worry about shipping costs, deductibles or hidden fees - we'll replace your ITEM or refund your purchase price for all covered breakdowns, with no out-of-pocket cost to you.
shaddyr
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:57 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I like that much better.

I've been staring at FAQs and coverage bullet points for far too long.

Thanks!
judifilksign
Jan. 24th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
I like this correction.
helenkacan
Jan. 24th, 2011 10:46 pm (UTC)
Rodney is telling me to change:
"Never worry about shipping costs, deductibles or hidden fees - we'll replace, or refund your ITEM for all covered breakdowns with no out-of-pocket costs for you."
to
"Never worry about shipping costs, deductibles or hidden fees. We'll replace or refund your ITEM for all covered breakdowns with no out-of-pocket costs to you."
It doesn't make sense to have a comma between "replace" and "or" because there's only one word on either side of the OR. Even if there had been two, such as: We'll repair, replace or refund ... a comma would not be necessary (unless you're a devotee of the Oxford comma).

I also made them two separate sentences as the subject of the first part is the invisible YOU, while after the [dash] the subject is WE.
shaddyr
Jan. 24th, 2011 11:16 pm (UTC)
Hee! I'm glad that it's not just ME who Rodney talks to!

Thanks for the input - it's been helpful!
mdlbear
Jan. 25th, 2011 03:12 am (UTC)
No comma in the last sentence because the "or" isn't part of a three-or-more item series. Comma would be correct in "A, B, or C". It would also be correct if there were a conjunction in A or B (e.g. "toast and jam, or pancakes?")
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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