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Ficlet: Two Guys Walk Into a Bar

As part of the McShep match, there were warm up interviews. These were fun, and gave little glimpses into what the different artists and authors think about the characters and where they are coming from in their writing.

One of the questions was:

8. Finish this sentence: John and Rodney walk into a bar...

Here's what I came up with.

John and Rodney walk into a bar...

...and John stops in awe. "whoa," he says quietly. "An open table in front of the 65" projection TV, live football on the tube, half price pitchers of draft and .25 cent wings - are we sure we're not on the mist planet?"

Rodney reacts with considerably less enthusiasm. "Sports, crap beer and re-flux inducing hot-wings. This is not the mist planet, it's hell!"

John just laughs and quickly makes his way over to the aforementioned table. Rodney follows behind him and leans in close to whisper in his ear. "I know this is your idea of paradise, but if you want to get laid any time in the near future, we're out of here in two hours, and not one second more. And that's only if they have food on the menu that won't make my stomach lining implode on itself.

The next 2 hours are a battle of wills as John extols the wonders of football - "A stupid, mindless waste!" Rodney exclaims - hot wings - "I like not having ulcers, thank you!" - and great beer. "What, this American horse piss?".

Rodney praises the wonders of room service and pay per view movies and adds in a threat of ice cold water and long term blue balls. They walk out 1 hour and 57 minutes later, both a little fuller, a little drunker, and a little more annoyed. But as usual for them, annoyance turns to snark which leads to flirting which results in making all possible haste back to their hotel room where John ends up sliding the key-card into the door by touch alone. He's rather busy kissing the hell out of Rodney and can't actually spare the effort to look at what he's doing. Eventually, the card slides home, the door swings open and they stumble through the room shedding clothing and shoes until they tumble into the bed.

John pulls back for a moment, Rodney's mouth chasing after his, but he's got Rodney pinned to the bed and he can't move. He squints down at him.

"You sure we're not on the mist planet?"

"No chance, because if we were, I'd be fucking you by now," he growls. John just laughs and settles in to kiss him senseless and prove that reality is way better than the mist planet any day.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 11th, 2011 05:58 pm (UTC)
LOL! I have to agree with McKay on the beer...
Aug. 12th, 2011 05:46 am (UTC)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! That was adorkably cute! :) But yes - I, too, am with Rodney on the beer! :)
Aug. 12th, 2011 09:03 am (UTC)
awww just makes you smile as you are reading the story.
Aug. 12th, 2011 07:32 pm (UTC)
Cute and funny! :-D
Aug. 19th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
OMG, that was so great! Hilarious!! :D
Sep. 25th, 2012 10:17 pm (UTC)
Don't remember reading this the first time around, but it's awesome! :D
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


Geek by Shaddyr

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