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You know you work at one of the coolest places on the planet when an official Nerf Policy comes out. This just arrived in my inbox...


Now that we have a lot more people and NERF guns in the office we need some rules to make sure play stays fun and safe. Please take couple of minutes to read this, it’s IMPORTANT.

Section 1 – Safety Policy
a. Avoid shooting at peoples face.
b. Avoid shooting at LCD Monitors and TV.
c. Avoid shooting at bottles, mugs, food and anything else that can make a mess.
d. Avoid shooting at people’s personal possessions such as picture frames, books, action figures…etc.
e. Avoid shooting at non $Company office employees.
f. Do not use physical violence such as but not limited to: hitting, pushing, biting, kicking, pinching, slapping, spitting, hair pulling, nose pulling, ear pulling, nipple twisting, object throwing, grabbing, tripping…etc.

Section 2 – Non-combatant Policy
a. Outside non $Company people are off limits and should never be fired on, including but not limited to: Mail and Food Delivery people, visitors, staff from $Company HQ…etc
b. Do not shoot at non-participating manager/directors and other staff, like Boss1, Boss2, Boss3, DEV boss, DEV2, DEV3…etc (Unless they fire on you first)
c. Anyone else who does not wish to participate in NERF warfare should display the white flag (Go see IT GUY to get one) to indicate they are a non-combatant.
         i. Anyone holding or displaying the white flag on their desk is immune and is considered a non-combatant and cannot shoot or be shot at. Those that breach this policy and shoot the non-combatants anyways will be lined up in front of the wall to face the firing squad.
         ii. If a white flag holder starts shooting at others he or she will face the firing squad.
        iii. Those that are active during combat should put away or lower their white flag to indicate they are participating in NERF war, and then you can shoot and be shot at.
        iv. If you are on the phone or trying to concentrate on work raise and waive the white flag to indicate immediate cease fire is required in your area. No shooting should be done towards any white flag holder.
        v. In Shaddyr’s case she will have a RED flag as well which means she is on a call with a customer and all NERF activity should stop immediately.

d. Dogs are off limits and should never be fired on.

Section 3 – Equipment and Ammo Policy
a. Make sure you clearly label all your ammo before you bring it to the office. Use a black marker to make a unique symbol or your initials so that everyone knows it belongs to you.
b. After each fight ammo should be collected and placed in the ammo box next to Majorly!Over-armed!Guy's desk at which point everyone can take their own ammo back.
c. Do not steal other peoples ammo, some guns like clip system only work on that type of ammo.
d. Most people don’t mind if you borrow their guns and ammo, if you do please make sure you put them back after each fight and collect and replace all the ammo you used.

Thanks and Have fun!

Lieutenant IT GUY :)


I told IT guy that I wanted to be on the firing squad.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 14th, 2011 08:42 pm (UTC)
I am SO jealous!!!!!
Oct. 14th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC)
Okay, two things: nipple twisting and dogs are off limits and should never be fired on.

Seriously, nipple twisting? (You're lucky -- I'm lucky -- I was only drinking water when I read that.) Y'all are, well, twisted.

And you get to bring your dogs to work? Cool. But, yeah, out of the line of fire.

Oh, and this: Don't shoot at the bosses unless they shoot first. Well, that takes all the fun out of it!

What a terrific workplace!

Edited at 2011-10-14 08:49 pm (UTC)
Oct. 14th, 2011 10:56 pm (UTC)
I keep having this recurring idea where, somewhere in seasons 2, civilians start spotting off duty marines playing nerf tag in less populates sections of the city; scientists, being the curious creatures they are, would not be able to help themselves, they would want to go *see* and end up getting nailed in the crossfire, and whining about it (especially Kavanaugh)

Elizabeth would say something to John, who would then institute a Safe Play policy (something like the above), and not long after that it would Become Known that venturing into certain areas of the city meant you became canon fodder unless you were wearing a non-combatant arm band. And even that didn't guarantee you were safe.

Ronon would think this was a wimpy way to shoot and that the guns were horridly innacurate, but would soon be the top scoring Nerf fighter. John would harass Rodney into moding his Longstrike CS-6 by taking out the noise suppressor and increasing the range and accuracy; shortly thereafter, various engineers would find themselves actively courted by marines looking for the advantage, and the Atlantis blackfree market would be doing a brisk trade if coffee, chocolate, porn and anything else that might be used to bribe one of the geeks into increasing the firing range of ones weapon.

Everyone would get caught up in it eventually, because military can't help but trash taking and one up each other and geeks are fiercely competative as well. It would become relatively commonplace for Rodney to walk into the lab, and upon being confronted with extreme idiocy (espc by scientsts fresh of the Daedalus), whip out his Barricade RV-10 Blaster or his Swarmfire and let loose on the idiots while ranting in epic detail about why they are such morons and the many ways in which they fail.

He would then calmly set his weapon down on the desk, sit down at his laptop and set to work. However his actions would generally spark a mini Nerf war all around him for at least 5 minutes. Once the last dart had flown and everyone else returned to work, the new minions who had just scrambled for cover would peak around corners and out from under desks to see if it was safe to come out or not. Rodney, of course, would roll his eyes and snap at them to get back to work and if they couldn't handle a few minor distractions in the lab, they weren't ready for the pressure of living and working in the Pegasus Galaxy.

Edited at 2011-10-14 10:57 pm (UTC)
Oct. 14th, 2011 11:21 pm (UTC)
Wheeeeee! \o/ I can so see this happening on Atlantis. Zelenka would be making out like a bandit in his free time.

(And this is so much better than the rubber band wars of my misspent youth.)
Oct. 14th, 2011 10:26 pm (UTC)

OMG I love your workplace!

Oct. 15th, 2011 05:47 am (UTC)
Can I come work at your place?!

Wow, that's so cool!
Oct. 15th, 2011 04:00 pm (UTC)
yes I R
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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