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Someone has already re-written our Nerf Policy...



Wules and Gaudelines

Nau dat we have a lot more peepol and NeauF gauns in da office we need some wuules to mak shur play stays fuun and saef. Please take cupple ov minutes to read this, it’s IMPORTAUNT.

Sectaun 1 – Safety Paulicy

  1. Shoot at peepols face.  Watch da gurly men cry.
  2. Shoot at non $Company office employees named Sarah Connor.
  3. Use physical violence such as but not limited to: pulling dere heart out truu dere stuumach…etc.
    ITS NICE NIGHT FOR A WALK

Sectaun 2 – Non-combatant Paulicy

  1. Shoot aut non-participating maunager/darectors and outher stauff, like manahgurs and baaasses… Consider this a divorce.
  2. Anyone else who does not wish to participate in NeauRF warfare shoold display the white flag (Go see IT GUY to get one) to indicate they are a gurly maan.
    1. Anyone holding or displaying the white flaag on their desk is hasta la vista, baby

Sectaun 3 – Equipment and Aummo Paulicy

  1. I’ll be back to steal other peoples aummo and Phased plasma rifle in da 40-watt range
 
If it bleeds, we can kill it!

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
maverick_weirdo
Oct. 15th, 2011 12:49 am (UTC)
I think it would be much better written in Jägermonster (from Girl Genius)
maverick_weirdo
Oct. 15th, 2011 01:40 am (UTC)
For Example
Section 1 – Safety Policy
a. Avoeed schootink at pipples hets.
b. Avoeed schootink at SCHpark inventions because dey might go boom (onless dey are already schootink at hyu, den vat hef hyu got to loose).
k. Avoeed schootink at bottles, mugs, food und hennyddink else dat might mess up you het.
d. Avoeed schootink at pipple’s personal possessions because it iz much more fun to schoot pipple.
e. Avoeed schootink at pipple vo don' hef noddink vorth takink.
f. Do not use physical violence such as but not limited to: hittink, pushink, bitink, kickink, pinchink, schlappink, schpittink, heir pullink, nose pullink, ear pullink, nipple tvistink, objeck trowink, grabbink, trippink…etc (at least ven hennyone iz lookink).
ITS NERF OR NODDINK
seticat
Oct. 15th, 2011 12:57 am (UTC)
Dear Bog! I would clean work cubicles for free to work there.
em_kellesvig
Oct. 15th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC)
I've laughed so hard today, I don't even know what to think!
ladyniko
Oct. 15th, 2011 04:14 am (UTC)
LOL! Seriously, can I come work with you? Boss Lady @ New Job is driving me bonkers.

She's seriously more freaking focused on making sure I'm wearing make up and have my hair pulled back than just letting me do my job and give a great massage to the clients.

Uhm, pardon me? I see the clients for all of like 2 minutes when I greet them and take them back to the massage room, then for at least half of the session they're FACE DOWN so, again, they don't see my face. When I do have them on their backs, they usually have their eyes closed, or are snoring, in some cases. So again, why the huge freaking focus on making sure I look like I'm wearing make up when I tend to sweat it off when I'm working? I see them for all of 30 seconds when they get dressed and come out of the room.

It's either I can look great and do a total fluff massage so my hair and make up don't get ruined with sweat, or I can go minimal on the makeup & keep the hair up & out of my way & do a hell of a good massage. Quit obsessing about my hair and make up! That's not why I became a massage therapist. :-p

I just need to take the money & run there - my long term goal is to have my own spa and I'm totally not going to obsess about make up like this woman does.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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