?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Trimming of the flist

I've been trying to keep up with my Friend list since I'm on holiday. Yeah. Nice thought, but nope. Just can't do it.

So, I did a trim of the flist. It was either folks who don't seem to have been around for a while, or those whose interests appear to have diverged from mine along the way - things like that. But. Trimming the flist makes me uncomfortable and edgy and afraid I might hurt someone's feelings. I've been trimmed from people I read because I read but rarely comment, thinking that I don't really have anything meaningful to contribute.

So. If I de-friended you and you would like me to add you back, say so and I'll be happy to. Or, you know, feel free to trim me from your list too, no harm, no foul.

Comments

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
sgamadison
Dec. 28th, 2011 01:03 pm (UTC)
So, I did a trim of the flist. It was either folks who don't seem to have been around for a while, or those whose interests appear to have diverged from mine along the way - things like that. But. Trimming the flist makes me uncomfortable and edgy and afraid I might hurt someone's feelings. I've been trimmed from people I read because I read but rarely comment, thinking that I don't really have anything meaningful to contribute.

Ack. This is a tough one, and one I struggle with myself--both as someone who's lists are becoming unweildy and someone who doesn't always have time to comment.

It's one of the reasons I don't always friend people back these days--because I hate the defriending process and try to use it as little as possible. :-(
shaddyr
Dec. 28th, 2011 10:59 pm (UTC)
I know! I hate it! I agonize of cuts, cuz sometimes it's someone from a fandom I was in 12 years ago and I like the person well enough, but we haven't actually talked or traded comments for years and I think maybe they're not all that interested in reading me but being polite - argh. I just don't know.

It's one of the reasons I don't always friend people back these days--because I hate the defriending process and try to use it as little as possible.

YES! I remember as a newbie having my feelings hurt that people I knew from fandom A or B didn't friend me back, but I get it now. It's not a matter of disliking, it's truly a matter or time!
peteralway
Dec. 28th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
That's why I'm really, really slow to friend people on Facebook. I have huge stack of friends requests from people I don't know or barely know that I've not closed the deal with.
sgamadison
Dec. 29th, 2011 01:37 am (UTC)
Well, I figure most people friend me because of the stories--they really don't want to know all about the ends and outs of my life.

There are times when I think I should just go back to posting stories and not yammer on so much about my life, but I do enjoy the interactions and discussions that it sometimes generates.

So if I look at friending as a means of maintaining a reading list, it makes it easier for me to decide on friending or not. :-)
maverick_weirdo
Dec. 28th, 2011 01:43 pm (UTC)
Yay
I made the cut!

;)
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:57 am (UTC)
Re: Yay
*grin*
mercury973
Dec. 28th, 2011 02:00 pm (UTC)
It happens. I'm about to do this, too. But I made the list so nanny nanny boo-boo =)
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 06:58 am (UTC)
It's hard doing a trim. But I feel like I really want to read my whole friends list and I don't do so and then I actually feel guilty and that sucks.

See you on NYD!
witch_wolf
Dec. 28th, 2011 02:57 pm (UTC)
Wasn't insulted but surprised that you had cut me.
anghara
Dec. 28th, 2011 11:03 pm (UTC)
Ditto...
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:25 am (UTC)
Dope slap self - take two...
This is another case where I was thinking, "hey, she's a for-realz, published writer, it's not like she's reading you," since (like I told Ceit) I consist primarily of fluff, goofiness and slash. And figured I probably didn't even ping your radar.

Uhm. Am adding you back and hoping that you are not offended?
anghara
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:36 am (UTC)
Re: Dope slap self - take two...
Not hardly. Glad to be back.
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:06 am (UTC)
And see? This is where I dope slap myself...
You always have socially relevant, interesting things that you talk about (like the dork "I need to speak to your husband" phone guy from shopNBC) things that seem to be important, that actually matter. I, on the other hand, consist primarily of fluff, goofiness and slash. And honestly, I figured that I probably wasn't even a blip on your radar.

Uhm. I am adding you back and hoping that you are not offended?
alsogater
Dec. 28th, 2011 03:54 pm (UTC)
I lurk. I read what others have to say and am always happy to see you pop up on my friends entries with amusing stories of work, news of cons and great fanfic.
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:27 am (UTC)
*nods* I lurk too. I'll read and not say anything cuz I don't think there's really anything I have to contribute that hasn't already been said.

*grin*

I'm glad to know that I amuse you.
sp23
Dec. 28th, 2011 07:27 pm (UTC)
It's a good thing you didn't cut me, because then I'd have to come to Canuckastan and kick your ass! ;-)

And since you didn't cut me, and I don't have to kick your ass, I'll give you an icon of Rodney's fine ass instead. :-D
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:29 am (UTC)
It's a good thing you didn't cut me, because then I'd have to come to Canuckastan and kick your ass! ;-)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hmmm... if In thought that would actually WORK, I would totally cut you in a second flat. So you could come kick my ass. And then I could pull out the vodka and get you drunk off yours. And you know, we *still* have to write something, I haven't forgotten our mad plan - the one that got sidelined at every con cuz I was so damn busy in hospitality...

MMMM! AssOfRodney! *sigh*
sp23
Dec. 29th, 2011 01:47 pm (UTC)
Dude, I'm afraid my writing mojo has left the building with Elvis. :-(

But vodka with you? Definitely worth a trip to the Great White North, or, you know, Vancouver. LOL
retro_rider55
Dec. 28th, 2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
- we are wuvved...
peteralway
Dec. 28th, 2011 11:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, no. I'm afraid to look. Have I been cut? Have I not? I guess I should check now...

(drum roll...)

Yay!!!

Er, I am pleased that you choose to continue to read my LJ, but I appreciate that if you had not that it wouldn't be a personal insult, or mean that you didn't consider me a friend in reality. Yeah, that's it.
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:35 am (UTC)
You know, that's something that makes me nervous about friending people I just met at a con - typically filkers - cuz, even though I met them or sang with them in circle, or had an interesting conversation, doesn't mean that we're going to click on LJ. Or that they would even be interested in reading me, or vice versa.

So, like sgamadison was saying, I find that I generally avoid automatically friending everyone who friends me, just because I hate the whole de-friending thing. It feels personal. I hate it when it happens to me, and I hate it when I do it in case I hurt someone's feelings. Argh!

Also, you're cool. And you built a Lego dulcimer. I mean seriously. :)
peteralway
Dec. 29th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
And you built a Lego dulcimer. I mean seriously.

A misconception on your part. I was not at all serious when I made the Lego dulcimer. It was entirely an act of whimsey.
(Deleted comment)
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:36 am (UTC)
Dude. You are one of the original guttersnipes! I remember where we all came from.
enigmaticblues
Dec. 29th, 2011 02:09 am (UTC)
I'm thinking about doing a trim as well, and so I sympathize with your discomfort. I've actually lost sleep over it! But I guess we'll see what the new year brings, and whether I can keep up.
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:46 am (UTC)
I hear you!

Also - YOU HAZ A NEW JOB YAY!

*cough*

Anyway. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
enigmaticblues
Dec. 29th, 2011 01:53 pm (UTC)
\o/

It's shaping up to be a very happy new year. I hope yours is a great one, too!
singletailwhip
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:29 am (UTC)
Eh... I'm here for fics, mostly. The other stuff is gravy - don't mind it at all, but I'm only unhappy if I miss a fic announcement. Does this mean I'll be missing announcements, even tho *I* still list you as a friend? Or only that personal stuff won't come my way?
shaddyr
Dec. 29th, 2011 07:50 am (UTC)
oh gosh, no, you would never miss anything fic related! I only very occasionally put anything under friend lock, and that's only when it's really personal or sensitive in some way. Everything fic related is entirely available for your reading pleasure!

And also, cool. I don't think I ever had anyone tell me they were just here for the fic before, and that's really flattering to know! *blush* Especially when I sometimes wonder if anyone besides my friends read my stuff. :) Thanks!
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

Geek by Shaddyr
shaddyr
Shaddyr

Latest Month

April 2018
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

.

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow