Forgive me, LJ, for I have strayed. It has been over a month since my last post. (well, except for the wee one earlier today, but that hardly counts...)
It's not like my life is amazingly busy or full to bursting, really - I'm just, by my very nature, likely to become mired in my own tangled thoughts, a prisoner of inertia. Also, I'm very lazy. It's quite sad.
I've also come to realize it takes me a lot longer to recharge than it used to. I was pretty much on empty after
conflikt even though I wasn't responsible for *anything* this year. All I had to do was go. 
mercury973 chauffeured me around everywhere. And yet, I was still wiped out after. I must be getting old or something. What the hell, dude? I didn't sign up for that!
I've managed make music withu_must_b_joking a few times since the con. A couple times Paul was there too, and even capnblackberry once! Ah, sweet music. Heh -I'm so glad she's on a Stargate kick right now - it means I'm not the ONLY one writing Stargate filks!
Other than that, I've found myself isolating in a way I haven't in a long time. I went to one Browncoats meetup, and got together withpa_fangirl for coffee a couple times, but I've just really been shying away from people. I've had to force myself to committee meetings and GMs, board meetings I'm committed to, and I just don't want to go.I'ts a little weird. Almost disturbing, but I can't really bring myself to care enough to be worried.
I think I'm a funk. Not really depressed, but just - well, my give-a-damn is pretty close to busted, y'know? I've got a lot on my mind - the kids (good lord, how is girlygirl old enough to graduate this year, dammit?) money (there's never enough) bills (there are always too many) and the job (cuz the moment you think you're secure, things get SNAFUed)
I know worry doesn't fix anything, and there are some things I just need to get off my arse and make a plan about.
*snort* Riiiiight. And heeeeere's the internet! Oooh! Shiny distraction, how pretty you are!
On the far more fun and distracted side of my brain, OMG I FINISHED A STORY BEFORE THE DUE DATE! *dies of shock* No seriously, this never happens! My Still In Love fest fic isn't due till March 28th and IT'S DONE!
And also, I was able to re-purpose my 2010 NaNo project to dovetail perfectly with the lovely, fabulous art work I won for mysgareversebang story (by velocitygrass, and dear GOD, it's amazing, beautiful, fabulous - did I mention this is the 3rd year in a ROW that I have gotten my #1 pick for artwork? SQUEEE!) And I've already written almost 2K of new material for it as well as reworked a bunch of the old stuff - it's been sitting there for a year, and when I pulled it out and read it, I still liked it and it was perfect! So. I'm happy. And I have till JUNE to finish that, YAY! *happy dances*
Anyway. In case anyone happened to be wondering. I didn't actually fall off the planet, though it may have seemed that way. I was just - hibernating. Yeah. That's it.
It's not like my life is amazingly busy or full to bursting, really - I'm just, by my very nature, likely to become mired in my own tangled thoughts, a prisoner of inertia. Also, I'm very lazy. It's quite sad.
I've also come to realize it takes me a lot longer to recharge than it used to. I was pretty much on empty after
conflikt even though I wasn't responsible for *anything* this year. All I had to do was go. mercury973 chauffeured me around everywhere. And yet, I was still wiped out after. I must be getting old or something. What the hell, dude? I didn't sign up for that!I've managed make music with
u_must_b_joking a few times since the con. A couple times Paul was there too, and even capnblackberry once! Ah, sweet music. Heh -I'm so glad she's on a Stargate kick right now - it means I'm not the ONLY one writing Stargate filks!Other than that, I've found myself isolating in a way I haven't in a long time. I went to one Browncoats meetup, and got together with
pa_fangirl for coffee a couple times, but I've just really been shying away from people. I've had to force myself to committee meetings and GMs, board meetings I'm committed to, and I just don't want to go.I'ts a little weird. Almost disturbing, but I can't really bring myself to care enough to be worried.I think I'm a funk. Not really depressed, but just - well, my give-a-damn is pretty close to busted, y'know? I've got a lot on my mind - the kids (good lord, how is girlygirl old enough to graduate this year, dammit?) money (there's never enough) bills (there are always too many) and the job (cuz the moment you think you're secure, things get SNAFUed)
I know worry doesn't fix anything, and there are some things I just need to get off my arse and make a plan about.
*snort* Riiiiight. And heeeeere's the internet! Oooh! Shiny distraction, how pretty you are!
On the far more fun and distracted side of my brain, OMG I FINISHED A STORY BEFORE THE DUE DATE! *dies of shock* No seriously, this never happens! My Still In Love fest fic isn't due till March 28th and IT'S DONE!
And also, I was able to re-purpose my 2010 NaNo project to dovetail perfectly with the lovely, fabulous art work I won for my
sgareversebang story (by velocitygrass, and dear GOD, it's amazing, beautiful, fabulous - did I mention this is the 3rd year in a ROW that I have gotten my #1 pick for artwork? SQUEEE!) And I've already written almost 2K of new material for it as well as reworked a bunch of the old stuff - it's been sitting there for a year, and when I pulled it out and read it, I still liked it and it was perfect! So. I'm happy. And I have till JUNE to finish that, YAY! *happy dances*Anyway. In case anyone happened to be wondering. I didn't actually fall off the planet, though it may have seemed that way. I was just - hibernating. Yeah. That's it.
- Current Mood:
tired
Comments
I know worry doesn't fix anything, and there are some things I just need to get off my arse and make a plan about.
I hear you on this. And after dealing with one set of bad news after another, I can tell you that it is extremely wearing. It is also possible to be depressed about situational things without being clinically depressed to the point of needing medication. Either way, it sucks the energy right out of you. You might want to get checked out by a doctor though and make sure there is nothing *physically* wrong with you though--anemia, diabetes, worms... ooops, sorry, that would be if you were a *cat*. :-)
I can also tell you that after dealing with crap for a long time--one bit of hopeful, OMG-this-would-change-everything-if-I-ca
So hang in there, kid.
Thanks. I know the shit you have been dealing with yourself, so I really appreciate what youhave to say - cuz more than most, I know you've been there and you know what it's like to live in the shitstorm.
Thanks, hon.
That would completely rock, you know. I wouldn't drink coffee, but I'd get hopped up on tea and then I'd persuade you to teach me your songs so I could sing along with you guys. *frustrated actress/singer here*
Thanks. I know the shit you have been dealing with yourself, so I really appreciate what youhave to say - cuz more than most, I know you've been there and you know what it's like to live in the shitstorm.
I'm always conscious of how things could be (and ARE) so much worse for most of my f-list. I have my health (such as it is), I have a job (several, as none of them pay squat), I have a great guy (no qualifiers here, he really *is* awesome), and everyone/thing I care about is mostly okay. So that makes me feel like the worst whiner if I am freaking out about how to pay the bills, or something like that. I'm learning to cut myself a little slack in that regard though.
Worry is worry. It doesn't matter what you're worried about--the effects on your heart and soul are the same.
And being able to vent? Priceless. :-)
We chose October because South Carolina is still really nice at that time of year (much nicer than mid-summer, in fact!) To my knowledge, everyone is up for doing it again--but I know that several of us also have Big Things that are going to keep plans up in the air for a while--we haven't really talked about when/if we're going to be able to pull it off this year. But it would be awesome to have you! Everyone who can come is welcome--here's the post that Neeve put up last year about it. I think she reserved a block of rooms at a discounted rate for a 'writer's conference' (which is certainly how it went down on my taxes! ;-)
Tell you what: if it looks like it's going to be a go, I'll be sure to give you a heads up, okay? :-)
Oh, and good luck with your ReverseBang story. There was so much awesome art, I can't wait to see what all the authors do with it.
I tell you the truth; if you are having anotherget together, I will do everything in my power to make it. That doesn't mean I will get there, but I will try!
I know what you mean about shying away from human contact. I get that way sometimes, too, and once I've had a chance to recharge, I'm ready for people again. *big hugs*
Good luck with the
Thanks! I need to catch you on IM sometime soon and talk about fic. And stuff. Cuz I like talking to you and it is higly relevant to my interests to do it more often. *nods* Yis.
That was not the package I meant to buy! Can I trade it in for a better one?
I warn you that I may bring you the short story I just wrote nd leave it with you to request feedback.
Oh how I relate. I have been in a funk myself thanks to everything crazy.
I know its not much but *giant squooshy hugs*
Blind Lemming and Proffesser Pete both do a lot of filk on the Ukelele, so yeah, there is stuff out there. i should introduce you to Pete for sure!
Oh, and sometime you should record a scratch track of a song and post it so that I have something more from you to listen to than "Champion" with
But congratulations on finishing the Still in love story early. And did you get my email? I'm looking forward to reading what you have, though take as much time as you need with the filler scenes. As you noted, it isn't due until June.
:-)
Lastly, the [accursed] federal budget from last week is calling for ~4k in local layoffs this year, which may cause such a rise in unemployment that I could again be laid off from the McJob. To top it off, several recruiters have told me that I don't speak fluent French -- so I can't possibly be considered for the [remaining] jobs that they happen to have, as all of them require perfect bilingualism. :-(
I would like to retrain and get my old computer skills unrusted, but that would require More Money that isn't being paid to the taxman. If I can get the retraining, that might let me snarf a new job ... but no guarantees in the current globalized economy.
Wishing you luck in avoiding the SNAFUs and paying your bills!