Shaddyr (shaddyr) wrote,

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And she's on a rant...

You know, it's really awkward when you have to come to work and act all professional, attend business meetings, and pretend you're a grown up when *really*, all you want to do is jump up and down and scream and yell and rant and rave and generally, have a huge temper tantrum.

*WHY* do I have to be a grown up? Gah. Sometimes this whole being mature thing really SUCKS.

Besides, it's not the fault of anyone at work. Nope. This is all THE EX.

So, Girly!Girl is not so much girly anymore. She is turning 19 in just a few weeks. Still living at home, mind. She's done some volunteer work and done some job hunting and gone to some job interviews, but so far - nadda. Zip, zilch.

I've been wondering *for months* when ExOfMine was going to approach me about not paying child support for her anymore.

First I should explain that he is the king of procrastination. Doesn't do anything unless you light a fire - and put some C4 - under his ass to make him do it. HA. Unless it involves money.

Well, the man who was 9 hours late visiting his first born daughter at the hospital the day after she was born because he was busy screwing around optimizing his computer BBS (and that is pretty much par for the course for the rest of the kids lives in terms of how TIMELY he is) the man who just STOPPED paying child support for a year because he had a pay cut and decided he wasn't going to anymore (yeah the courts said different, but I gave him a year before I went after him for it) yeah that guy. He had his mother serve me with papers last night.

I should have known the second she showed up to drop off the kids, since she never visits us. Of the last three times she came by the house before last night? Twice it was to serve me papers from him.

Needless to say I was less then sympathetic when she apologized and started telling me that she didn't want to and how it wasn't easy for her and how she was sorry - yeah, save it, lady. You can't even bother to come out and visit your grandkids, don't give me a song and dance about how sorry you are. Next time, say NO if it upsets you and get him to pay someone to do it like normal people do. Better yet, tell your son to MAN THE FUCK UP and call me to discuss it.

Yeah, right, like THAT would ever happen.

So, it's not that I don't understand - she's 19 and legally will be an adult. Problem is, I am still 100% supporting her - it's not like I am going to throw her out the day she turns 19 because she doesn't have a job yet. She's an Aspie, just like her brother, and it makes trying to find work a challenge. But he doesn't see any of that and doesn't care - all he sees are DOLLAR SIGNS and WHOO HOO he doesn't have to pay anything to that albatross of an EX anymore. Fucker.

If I thought for a second that he would be in the least be amenable, I would ask him if he could at least contribute the price of a one zone bus pass for her each month to make it easier for her to look for work. Hell, that would be pretty much the amount he's been paying in child support for her. But yeah, not a chance.

I have this furious, vindictive part of me that wants to rip him to shreds in front of my kids and tell them all the assholish things he's done (especially where money was involved) over the years, things he's said - he's certainly said nasty things about me to them, things that made my daughter tell me once, in tears, that she didn't think she could trust me after what daddy told her since I was lying all the time (OMG, that just ripped me apart)

But then I realize that I don't want to hurt my kids like that, but it's like a burning pool of acid in my guts because it's just so typical of how he operates. It's all about him, not his kids. The fact that Girly is facing challenges that make it hard for her to find work? Not his fucking problem.


I understand why people with less impulse control than I have shoot their ex's in the head.

But I like not being in jail. And my kids don't deserve that.

I think I need to write a very brutal story. Soon.
Tags: ex, rant, so fucking angry
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